From The Morton Blog

I Rarely Eat Breakfast But When I Do, I Prefer Mine Without Arrows

By , Columnist


Margaret Shofner, an 80-year-old resident of St. John, Missouri, was in the midst of enjoying her Grape-Nuts with her granddaughter last week when an arrow shot through her kitchen window and lodged in her mouth.

The arrow was shot by neighbor Robert Joiner who was conducting target practice nearby in his backyard. Shofner said she didn't know what hit her until she saw a black line across her face and reaching up, she pulled the arrow from her mouth. Shofner nursed her wound with a cold cloth until her grandson arrived home an hour later and called the police. The archer was in his yard still missing every target when police arrived and confiscated his equipment. William Tell may face assault and armed criminal action charges.

The good-natured grandmother chuckled at the incident and considers herself "lucky" for receiving only minor injuries from such a freak accident. When I am at Starbuck's tomorrow, before I bitch about the consistency of my latte froth, I will think of Margaret; and then I'll probably bitch anyway.

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Holly is a freelance writer and copy editor with a background in journalism and publishing. Like a grandmother's purse, she is about three decades old, worn around the edges and mostly full of crap.

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