Five Bizarre Rob Lowe Moments

Delving into Stories I Only Tell My Friends

By , Columnist
In his new memoir, Stories I Only Tell My Friends: An Autobiography (Henry Holt and Company), Rob Lowe spends less than half a sentence on his infamous sex tape scandal, but it turns out he's got weird showbiz tales to spare. Here's five snapshots from the fast lane excerpted from the actor's wry New York Times best-seller.

01 Mobbed
At age 16, Lowe appears in short-lived sitcom A New Kind of Family. Teenage girls respond:

They are swarming, gathering in the shadow of the Tilt-A-Whirl, twenty to thirty girls...One starts to shake. Another lets out a sort of whimper and runs with her feet in place like she has to go to the bathroom. Another pushes the girls in front of her to the ground and runs toward me. The girl on the ground screams, then they're all screaming, low at first, then building to a point where it sounds like a sonic knitting needle is puncturing my eardrum. And then they charge.

02 Malibu Boogie Man
On Halloween night, teenager Lowe roams Malibu with his pals:

A figure jumped out of a bush scaring us to death. "What ya boys doing'?" demanded a man dressed from head to toe in army fatigues and wielding a gigantic baseball bat. "This is my neighborhood. I am on patrol. There will be no monkey business on my watch! Do you understand?'" "Yes Sir."  He smashed his bat on the pavement, making us jump. "I'll be watching."   

He turned and disappeared into the darkness. One of my friends exhaled and chuckled, "You wanted to meet Martin Sheen? Well now you have."

03 The Exploding-Kneecap Audition
Lowe tries to dance his way into Footloose:

The big finish approaches. I explode into a spring, leap as high as I possibly can and come down on my knees, hard, skidding a good ten feet across the floor. There is a grotesque pop that can be heard over the music, and my right knee explodes in pain. Within seconds it is the size of a butterball turkey. I look up at the director and black out.

I didn't get the part.

04 Bad Brat Pack Vibes
St. Elmo's Fire cast members host party for a reporter who's been profiling Lowe's friend Emilio Estevez:
The reporter, a balding skinny guy...eats and drinks with us like it's his last night before the electric chair. Emilio picks up the very large tab. The writer hugs us all good bye and thanks us as he hops into his cab.

A few weeks later, [the reporter] writes a mean-spirited hatchet job about our dinner in his honor. New York Magazine runs the headline "Hollywood's Brat Pack." As [the reporter] drank our booze, ate our food and chatted up the girls at the table, he gave no indication that he held us in such condescending low regard...To the writer: if you are still around somewhere and read this and want to apologize, I am open to sitting down to dinner. But this time, you can pay.

05 Passing Out With Michael J. Fox
Lowe attends a party at Michael J. Fox's house:

I stumble to an out of the way guest room and am unconscious in seconds. Even the commotion of a large object leaping onto the bed doesn't stir me. I figure I'll let Mike's dog sleep where he wants. Soon the room is absolutely freezing and I'm glad to have the warmth to snuggle with.

"What the hell is going on?" asks Mike's assistant at first light. "Oh, sorry, I let the dog sleep with me."

She says, "Now I've heard everything." I look next to me to discover Mike is in the bed, not the dog. "Jesus Christ!" I say with a start. "Shuuuut up. Tiiired," says Mike..."Get out of my bed," he adds.

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Los Angeles-based writer/musician Hugh Hart covers movies, television, design, art and miscellaneous slices of pop culture for publications including Wired Magazine, Los Angeles Times and New York Times. When he's not interviewing people like Quentin Tarantino or Lindsay Lohan, Hugh likes to glug blackā€¦

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