Dear Chris Brown: I Don't Hate You

Dear Chris,

Just when I thought Charlie Sheen and Donald Trump had pushed you to the bottom of the tabloid barrel, you show up with squeaky clean Justin Bieber on stage in Australia this past weekend. I knew you would find a way back to us. Cheers.

Even with the Biebs in your corner though, it seems that hating you has remained to be the politically correct thing to do. The "I hate Chris Brown" club on Facebook looks to be back in full swing, and it's not pretty.

After admitting to physically abusing Rhianna last year and then throwing a chair and breaking a window on Good Morning America this past March after an interview, well, the people that hate you really hate you. And judging by some of the extremely graphic and violent comments directed at you on the club's wall, it also looks as though there's no mental status exam to enter the comment stream--bummer deal.

Regardless of the politically correct feelings of hatred that I'm apparently supposed to have towards you, I've decided to come clean and go public with what I really feel.

Here it goes...

Chris Brown, I don't hate you. And here's why.

I don't hate you because contrary to what Gaga says, baby, you were absolutely not born this way. No one comes into the world as an angry, violent, SOB. It's just not the way it works. You were once an innocent little boy, and like a traumatized puppy who grows into a dog that bites, something clearly messed-up happened along the way.

Witnessing your step-dad violently beat your mom for years during your childhood did a number on you, as it would anyone. You not only learned that the way you deal with emotions is to be violent, you also learned, as a kid who lived in an emotional and physical war-zone, that you had only two options: fear, or be feared. The thing is, they're actually opposite sides of the same coin.

To be feared is simply a way to cope with feeling afraid. And, given your resume thus far, it seems like your go-to. Making sure you're feared is the way you seem to protect yourself, the way you keep people from having too much access to you, emotionally or otherwise. When you feel any emotion that in any way, shape, or form is associated with fear, you go into defense mode...and you bite.

For example, when you feel jealous, it's really fear of being abandoned or un-loved. When you're asked questions about your past mistakes on Good Morning America and get upset and throw chairs and such, it's really fear of being exposed, fear of being vulnerable, fear of seeming weak, or wrong, or doubted.

And anyone thinking you're weak, little-boy-who-had-to-protect-himself, is what you fear the most. Because the thing is, if you seem weak, things don't have a history of going very well.

Given all of that, the knowing that you didn't choose to become this way remains to be the reason I don't hate you. But I do understand why people are pissed at you to the point where they think you're a horrible influence on innocent Justin Bieber--as in, stay 100 yards away.

The problem is, you simply keep dodging the issue and that's only upsetting people more. Though I know you're whole point is to be scary so you can keep people as emotionally distant from you as possible, you're also scaring them away from your music, which I believe is the whole other point.

You chose to be in the limelight. You want us to listen to your music and root for you, but having your cake and eating it too does have a shelf-life. Unless you're able to come out of the denial that is making some of your fans and all of your non-fans so uncomfortable, admit your shortcomings, apologize like a real man, and go get the therapy and support you so badly need, we're actually not going to do as your publicist asks and put aside the questions about your past. It's just part of your chosen package...F.A.M.E., isn't that right?

But, I don't hate you. Because hate isn't what you need, help is. You need to process your past, learn non-violent ways to keep yourself safe, and come to a place where you realize that not everyone, in fact, is after you.

But listen, just one suggestion. Get that help through means other than on Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew, OK? Because that might seriously ruin your image.



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