Jesse James' Famewhore Road Show Heads to Howard Stern

Jesse James really needs to shut his piehole already.

By , Contributor

Mr Blue/

If ever there was a villain who needed righteous retribution, it's the customizer-womanizer, and busted titty-tat lover Jesse James. 

Yesterday I posted on James new "memoir," American Outlaw, wherein he whines and moans about how life's been tough since his Oscar-winning ex-wife Sandra Bullock dumped his serial cheating ass after she was publicly humiliated.  By the time the dragged out torture-fest was over, James was linked to at least four mistresses, all of whom severely lacked shall we say, je ne sais quoi.

James describes in his memoir how he broke the news to Sandra Bullock and how she walked out and never looked back. In a further act of sadistic perversion, James is now discussing his sex life with Bullock in comparison to his current flame LA Ink star Kat Von D.

During an appearance on Howard Stern's Sirius radio show, Stern asked James if Kat was a better lover than Sandra, James demurred, "That one's an easy no-brainer ... Yes sir, 100 percent."  He also added, "She's a vixen, man....The way she gets in my head. It's a mental thing; [we're] connected on a whole different level."  Stern then asked how James would handle Kat Von D cheating on him.  His response: "If she cheated on me, I'd forgive her and still love her."

Sure you would buddy, sure.

Anyone with even a modicum of intelligence can read between the lines in all of this. Salon's Mary E. Williams pulls out an interesting nugget from the book where Jesse uses a car ride with Sandra to create a Huck Finn analogy:

He's now going into more depth about the causes, including a game-changing car ride in which Bullock asked him to turn down the radio. "I lowered it. Of course I did," he writes in his memoir. "That's what any husband would do for his high-class wife. She wasn't some whore in the back of a Daytona nightclub; she was a lady, with gentler tastes. But in the back of my mind, I couldn't help but feel kind of cheated. It was like I was Huckleberry Finn, when Widow Douglas decides to adopt him. They were 'sivilizing' me, and I didn't know how to make them stop."

I am having a hard time understanding the dichotomy of Jesse James' desire to win over those who hate him for how he mistreated Sandra Bullock, while simultaneously slamming her to anyone and everyone who will listen.  How can we learn to like you, or at least not hate you Jesse, when you just keep acting like an insensitive, sadistic, self-serving asshole?  You don't need the money the memoir will provide, you are clearly doing to this to hurt Sandra for dumping you after you went out of your way to destroy her life.

Shame and self-loathing make people do insane things, as our resident therapist Brooke Miller explained to me today, but what James is doing is pouring salt in a wound that surely has yet to heal (it's only been slightly over a year since they broke up). 

Jesse James is the equivalent to the bad boy in high school who got lucky enough to date the head cheerleader, then cheated on her, got dumped, and then wrote nasty sh*t about her on the bathroom wall.  Exactly who do you think you are fooling Jesse?  And most importantly, when will you accept what's coming to you and finally shut the hell up?

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I have written and covered celebrity, entertainment and popular culture for over ten years. I also created celebrity web-site as part of the network. When both sites were purchased in 2008 by, she joined their editorial team as Entertainment Editor and then…

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