Kim Kardashian Got Pregnant on Her Honeymoon, Jen Aniston Pregnant Too?

The very, very thin and unfounded evidence Hollywood insiders would have us believe.

By , Columnist
As much as people seem to care about A-list pregnancies, baby bump watching in Hollywood should be elevated to the status of a legitimate pastime, complete with field guides and reference manuals. 

I'm not sure what's so special about a starlet getting knocked up. I mean, their pregnancy will feel like any other pregnancy. They'll go through the pains of childbirth just like any other mortal, and likely experience all the bafflement that first-time parents encounter after they bring home their tiny human. Maybe that's why we're so obsessed with them. Stars, they're just like us!

Except, you know, after they lose the baby weight in 3 weeks, hire full-time nannies, dress their infants in designer duds and shower them in diamonds (ahem, Mariah Carey). 

In fact, we know a celebrity pregnancy sells so well that we're more than willing to invent a story or two on a slow news day. I give you: Kim Kardashian's "Honeymoon Baby."

Life&Style would like us to believe that a friendly traveler from the U.K spotted Kim purchasing  two home pregnancy tests while honeymooning in Italy. When questioned by the magazine, Kim vaguely replied that "I just got married! Who knows? It's no secret that I can't wait to be a mom. Of course I hope it happens soon. I don't know if I am right now."

Her neither-here-nor-there response is a far cry from the cover of Life&Style, which exclaims: "Cravings, fatigue and a growing bump!" 

I'm no board-certified OBGYN, but I know that a bump doesn't magically appear less than two weeks after conception. What is this, Twilight: Breaking Dawn?! If Kim's pregnant and showing, then she was pregnant long before her wedding on August 20. "Honeymoon Baby" my ass, Life&Style!

Not to mention, this isn't the first time Life&Style has falsely accused Kim of reproducing. To add insult to injury, they can't even bother to come up with some fresh material. Behold, Kim's "cravings" and "growing bump" from 2010:
In other non-news-celebrity-pregnancy-"news," Jennifer Aniston was photographed enjoying a lollipop while exiting an office building that houses medical offices. Which means she's pregnant! reports that, "It's common practice in gynecology offices to give candy to a woman having blood work early in her first trimester so when a nurse draws blood, the patient's blood sugar level is high enough that she doesn't pass out." 
Never mind that there's no proof that Jen visited a gynecologist, not to mention any doctor's office. And as sure as I am that TMR doesn't staff any gynecologists, I'm sure that X17Online isn't exactly qualified to be giving sound medical assessments. Can't the girl just enjoy her sucker in peace?

What say you, TMR universe? Are these "pregnancies" going to result in real-live children? Does anyone care? Or are all of us just biding our time for the real deal: Duchess Kate womb-watching, anyone?

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Rachel East is a freelance writer specializing in relationships and relationship advice. In addition to her regular column on TMR, Rachel contributes relationship content to the Levo League, formerly known as Pretty Young Professional, a website for young, professional and ambitious women. Her writing…

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