Mary Louise Parker: JLo Stole My Royal Handshake!

Ah, there's just nothing nicer than a grown-ass, whiny-butt starlet...

By , Columnist

There’s no other explanation. Mary Louise Parker must have thought that her evening at the BAFTA event in William and Kate’s honor was going to turn into a modern-day version of Roman Holiday.

But alas, she was clearly beyond disappointed when the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge didn’t sneak out the back of the Belasko Hotel in L.A. - or even make time for Her HIGHness - at the July 9 event in the royals’ honor. But I mean, hey, what royal husband wouldn’t just love to escape from his gorgeous bride and allow himself to be shepherded around the real Los Angeles by the actress who plays a marijuana dealer on Weeds?

Unfortunately, instead of being graceful about getting denied, as Blake Lively was when asked by fans if she’d had occasion to exchange hellos with the royal duo (you can see her response at about 3:10 on this video), MLP quipped to the same question, "I didn't meet them. I was shoved out of the way by Jennifer Lopez. Uh oh, I shouldn't have said that."

Wow. I thought JLo’s ass was probably the biggest thing in that awkward situation, but clearly Miss MLP’s weedsy ego was giving it a run for its money. There were over 280 stars, moguls, musicians, and socialites present for the high-profile event, so it’s no wonder that not everyone got to do the booze ’n’ schmooze with the guests of honor.

While the comments section on the dlisted article about MLP’s “slip of the tongue” turned into a JLo-bashing session, I can’t help but be a little more irritated by Parker in this situation. Getting in front of the right people, in any competitive environment, can be really tough no matter your career choice. But what you don’t do is trash other people in a public setting to make excuses for your inability to get the results you wanted. Not a good option.

So, yes, Madame la TV Star, it sucks that you didn’t get to meet the monarchical newlyweds who have been taking the continent by storm. It sucks that you got to enjoy a great meal, some pretty exclusive company, and a whole lot of pomp and circumstance. And when People magazine asked if you’d have the pleasure of making their royal acquaintance, it really sucks that you chose to perpetuate the “rude American” stereotype instead of having the class and composure to simply say, “Oh gosh, no. I wish I could’ve, but it just didn’t work out,” and leave it at that. Awesome.

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Emmie Scott is an English major-turned-marketing exec, with a passion for writing, humor, sharing knowledge, and "pink drinks." After hours, she started Are Toe Rings Professional Attire?, a blog for college grads and twenty-somethings looking to find their way through that daunting labyrinth called…

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