Much Ado About Nothing: Bow Wow's Big Announcement

How Bow Wow's baby bombshell underscores America's celebration of mediocrity.

By , Contributor

In perhaps one of the most awkward birth announcements ever, 24-year-old rapper Bow Wow revealed in a letter to his fans that three months ago he was blessed with the “illest gift” - a daughter, whom up until last week he had kept secret. Unfazed by the audacity of his baby bombshell, everyone, from young women whose dreams of becoming his one and only baby mama had suddenly been dashed to mega-mogul Russell Simmons, offered their praise to Weezy, dubbing him a role model to men throughout the country.

Though there are a number of lingering questions surrounding his decision to “come out” after hiding his daughter for so long, and why he felt the need to dumb himself down to deliver such a message, what we want to know is: At what point did acknowledging your own child become commendable?

Was it when it became taboo to keep score at children’s soccer games where everyone’s a winner, and trophies are handed out to all who bother to show up, even if they were dragged out of their parents’ mini-vans kicking and screaming and left in a whimpering heap on the sideline to do nothing more than pick dandelions out of the grass? Or was it somewhere between Charlie Sheen’s hijacking of the concept of “winning,” and news of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s love child?

Much of his time growing up may have been spent on tour buses and video shoots, but even without a traditional upbringing, Bow Wow still managed to become another victim of his own self-righteousness, with soccer games and karate lessons having been replaced with award shows and after-parties. And now, we’re apparently supposed to celebrate the fact that he did something he was supposed to do - three months later.

Some say that “80% of success is just showing up,” but this is fatherhood, not Little League, and certainly not the Source Awards. A shout-out to your baby girl, a big ups to the Man upstairs, and a nod to the fans in the stands means nothing if it isn’t backed up by some kind of performance that’s actually worthy of acclaim.

The inconvenient truth is that there are losers in the game of life, and though we’re glad that Bow Wow has gotten off the bench and finally stepped up to the plate as a father, pardon us for not offering any props until we’ve seen him do more than bitch about baby mama drama and paparazzi. Until then, all we can offer are our congratulations, a recommendation for Hooked on Phonics, and our sincere hope that the rapper stays in the game. And yes, we will be keeping score.

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Shayla C. Perry is a freelance journalist based in New York. In addition to interviewing some of the biggest names in the entertainment industry, and covering the latest in celebrity news & gossip, her forte (read: obsession) is examining the sensationalism, gall, and sheer genius of reality TV.

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