Rush Limbaugh Is Nothing If Not Consistent

He manages to frown on the death of bin Laden.

By , Contributor

Monday May 2nd was a great day for one of my favorite pastimes - I call it "The Rush Limbaugh Game," and I'll explain it shortly.

First of all, I'd like to admit to my own political bias, a little liberal, but what I really am is Socratically ignorant. I do my best to keep up on the issues, but I'm willing to admit that the world is oftentimes a big confusing place filled with endless streams of information just waiting to be misinterpreted by pinheads with an ax to grind. Usually, I end up like the Greek philosopher Socrates (himself an anti-democracy pin head), the one guy in the room willing to admit that he doesn't really have everything figured out.

I have a few issues that are close to my heart that I'm pretty adamant about, but if we're at a cocktail party and you're a rabid right winger spewing end of the world rhetoric from God only knows what source, it's pretty difficult for me to argue much. I'm only human and I can't fact check the entire spectrum of political journalism every single day. Sadly, neither can our politicians, because face it they're voting on thousand page bills every day and the likelihood that they're reading even a third of those things is as likely as you consulting with your lawyer before approving the legal and supposedly binding contract that pops up every time you update your iTunes folder.

You want a commentator from the media that I truly trust as open minded? Charles Barkley. End of list. Charles doesn't care if he sounds right wing or left wing. Charles remains consistent merely by remaining Charles. Charles may not know what he's going to say even 30 seconds before he says it, but at least Charles is his own man.

So back to Limbaugh, I'm sure there are thousands of intelligent conservatives in the world who could really make me question most of my preciously held beliefs. Nevertheless, there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that Rush Limbaugh is not one of them. Glenn Beck isn't either, but to Limbaugh's credit, he's at least a quality entertainer.  

Now my creation of the Rush Limbaugh game goes back to November 7th, 1991. I was in Miami for the wedding of my best friend, but there was one thing on everybody's mind. Earvin "Magic" Johnson, perhaps one of the most beloved celebrities in the world had just announced that he'd been diagnosed HIV positive. Magic somehow still looks as healthy as a horse nearly 20 years later, but back in 1991 -- everyone, and I mean everyone -- was completely losing their minds. The threat of AIDs was no longer just a disease for gay men and unlucky blood transfusion recipients. For that one day, we were all too scared to be partisan. Well, everyone except Rush.

While most of the talking heads took a day off to reorient themselves and feel the fear and sadness of a line being crossed. Rush Limbaugh still found a way to turn it into a four hour rant session against anyone that every voted for a Democrat. I don't know how he did it, but while everyone's head was spinning Rush was tapping into his unrivaled storehouse of creativity to blast everyone and everything he bashed every day.

It was that day that I realized that Rush was unconquerable, and thus The Rush Limbaugh Game. Whenever news comes out that you'd think even David Duke would be applauding Barack Obama or some other liberal on a job well done, the Rush Limbaugh show for that one day becomes a must listen.

Back to Monday, May 2, Barack Obama successfully did what every right wing fanatic had been begging for - I think even Pat Robertson was sending the President congratulatory emails on the shooting of Osama Bin Laden. Could Rush possibly find four hours of vitriol for our Democratic leader? Today? Really? Of course, he could, that's what makes the Limbaugh game so fun to play. Rush never ever disappoints. I tuned in for about five minutes and heard Rush mocking the suddenly bloodthirsty liberals. Some may call it show business. Some may call it absurd hypocrisy, but to me the fact that Rush Limbaugh knows that he's going to be irate at the democrats no matter what they do warms my heart. It may not be pretty, but Rush Limbaugh is as reliable as the sun rising every morning.

One more thought on the national holiday that was Osama Bin Laden's death. Admit it, when you heard the news you ran to Facebook to see what your friends were saying, and every single one was whooping it up like the greatest accomplishment since D-Day.

Given a day to digest the hysteria, suddenly quotes from Martin Luther King Jr. and the Bible were appearing in your friends' status warning us against glorifying the death of even our most evil and bitter rivals. And of course, 90% were from the same people who just 24 hours earlier were changing their avatars to American flags. God, I love the Internet.

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Brad Laidman has been a freelance writer since 2000. His work has appeared in Film Threat, Perfect Sound Forever, and Rock and Rap Confidential. His defense of The Kinks' Dave Davies so moved the legendary guitarist that Davies labeled Brad his hero and he has the email to prove it.

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