Fighting Housewives is Just Not Sexy

A lack of self-worth and the need for material things often leads to emotional instability -- and sometimes -- catfights.

The May 30 issue of Life & Style magazine digs oh-so-deep into the fight between Real Housewives of New Jersey stars and sisters-in-law, Teresa Giudice and Melissa Gorga. As in, their physical fight - the one they had in front of their kids - at a christening for one of their children. Lovely doesn't even cover it.

I know very little about their particular and personal situation because, well, I don't really care about their particular and personal situation. Also because the combination of one episode of Housewives and an article in Life & Style isn't really a trusted recipe for solid research. But since witnessing a girl fight years ago between two 15-year-olds that included hair-pulling, scratching, screaming, and punching like I've never seen before while leaving blood, hair, and ripped material in its path, I have to say from the aftermath experience (I was both girls' crisis counselor after the fight) that the details of what Giudice and Gorga are fighting about actually don't matter much.

Why? Because the cause of fights can be broken down into only a few themes of motivation: First, a threat of physical harm to you or those you love; second, a threat of emotional damage to you or those you love; and third, a threat to your sense of self. That's pretty much it. That's where fights come from. Period.

Given the fame-whore level of money and superficiality involved in "the housewives of" brand in general, including this particular housewives brawl, I figure it's a good time to go behind door number three and explain a diagnosis spreading like wildfire in our society. I like to call it, "Threat To Sense of Self, Materialistic Type."

Here's the way it works: People who feel empty inside - empty of a healthy level of self-love, self-respect, self-confidence, self-value, self-esteem and the like - tend to fill themselves with something to occupy that empty space. Food, drugs, alcohol, sex, and things. Material things.

So, when superficial items assume the space where self-worth would live if it existed, those superficial and material things actually become synonymous with one's self-worth. My things equal who I am. And that's an issue. A big issue. Such a big issue in fact, that it makes for great I'll watch because it makes me feel like a really good person compared to what a materialistic brat you are TV. And cue the housewives.

But here's where things get ugly. When others have the same material things, or "better" material things or "more" material things than the person whose sense of self is based on their own material things, it's threatening to their very core. Their identity is being compromised and threatened and their brain responds in the same way it does if a tiger were to come running towards them. Fight, flight, or freeze. And in Jersey, apparently they fight. Like dirty bitches.

And that's how it works. Apparently in reality TV land, when money and material things are what define a person, it manifests as a sad comb-over accompanied by a delusional idea that people give a shit about your money slash identity... or J-Lo Barbie.

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