Kim Kardashian's Nuptials Will Be Bigger Than The Royal Wedding

In her mind, anyway.

By , Columnist

Just days after Kim Kardashian received a 20.5-carat engagement ring from her NBA star boyfriend, Kris Humphries, the wedding chatter has begun in a big way. A royally big way, in fact, as Kim has not minced words about wanting her nuptials to contend with William and Kate's royal wedding which, incidentally, I sat up until 4am to watch with my father.

Kourtney Kardashian, Kim's sister, has been quoted as saying, "It will be the Royal Wedding #2,″ and OK! Magazine reported, "Kim is planning the wedding of the century. She doesn't see why a royal wedding should get more attention than hers. She sees herself as a bigger celebrity than Kate Middleton."

This self-constructed pedestal, built on a third-rate reality show and a boring sex tape (which looked more like stealth military operations filmed with night vision than porn) can hardly compare to a hierarchical change to a country with several millennia of history, but everyone loves a wedding!

The only influences her wedding will have will be the momentary fame points (non-transferable) for the select few media personalities invited to the event, and yet another theme for one of her reality television shows. The benefit of the latter is that at least one episode of the reality series will contain a plot, which, according to Kim, is enough reason for a whole country to have a public holiday.

I look forward to this upcoming free day and have organized a family barbecue. When my father asked what the public holiday was for, I told him, "Kim Kardashian is getting married and it is going to be bigger than the royal wedding," to which he replied, "Pffft. Kim Kardashian? The only thing that will be bigger about her wedding is her butt."

When my dad relayed the news to my mom, and she asked, "Who's Kim Kardashian?" he stated, "She's that short annoying one from Jersey Shore."

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Holly is a freelance writer and copy editor with a background in journalism and publishing. Like a grandmother's purse, she is about three decades old, worn around the edges and mostly full of crap.

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