Aliens Cure Pennsylvanian Woman's Arthritis

Is Allegheny National Forest the new Area 51?

By , Columnist
The small town of Warren, Pennsylvania, which lies near Lake Erie on the edge of Allegheny National Forest, is quickly becoming the latest hotspot for those in search of close encounters with alien life.

Warren is usually a fairly quiet town, large enough to have a high school, but small enough for the locals to notice when changes occur. Most recently, the heightened military activity following four reports in as many months of strange sightings, and one report of abduction.


Joy Davies, 62, is not the kind of person you would usually expect to say “aliens took me.” She enjoys walking her dog Ben, volunteers on weekends at the Goodwill, and can be seen most days in her garden wielding a trowel and wearing a broad rimmed straw hat. Her husband Jack died last year after a lengthy bout with pneumonia.

Every evening, Mrs. Davies takes Ben for a walk along the trail in the woods behind her house. On August 2nd, Mrs. Davies states that as she walked around the bend of the trail, only a few minutes into the walk, she was taken by aliens. "I wasn't scared at all," she stated, "they were very polite and I felt safe the whole time. I was more worried about telling anybody as I thought I would be called nutty. Everyone has been joyandben.jpgvery nice about it though."

Mrs. Davies described the aliens as the size of children, very pale and with no hair. “They were smiling and one of them told me not to be afraid without speaking," she said.

She then went on to describe the ship as 

More like a peanut shape than like the flying saucers you see in those action movies, and white with a soft blue glow beneath it lighting the area. 

I don't remember entering the ship but I knew I was inside because the walls were curved and the blue light was underneath me. Ben was next to me and one of the aliens was scratching behind his ears, which he likes. A tiny bright blue light like a star, but about the size of a snowflake, appeared above me and slowly floated down so I held out my hand to catch it and when it touched my hand I remember laughing.

The next thing I remember is standing on the path facing my house. One of the aliens was holding my hand. When he let go and turned back down the path, I don't know why I didn't turn to watch, but instead I just walked back to the house with Ben and made a cup of tea. I then went to bed because somehow four hours had passed and it was late.

While Mrs. Davies has "no idea why it happened," she believes what occurred that evening cured her arthritis.

"Up until that night I suffered from arthritis really bad, especially in my hands and arms, and took pills daily. Now I haven't got it at all and haven't taken a single pill since. I played tennis for the first time in several years with my friend Cathy last week and can knit again. Ben seems more frisky, too."

Prior to Joy’s alleged encounter, four different people had reported seeing strange lights in the area. Michael Smith, 58, stated that he had seen a white blob around 10pm a few weeks earlier above the tree line of his property before it "flashed brighter and then just disappeared."

Three similar sightings have been reported since April and last week, government officials sealed off a section of the forest for three days. "There were trucks and soldiers," said local shop owner Carol Banks, "they just drove into the forest and three days later they drove out. We weren't told anything and nobody bought anything."

While no reason apart from "standard training exercises" has been given for the heightened military activity, Warren is a small town and gossip travels quickly. As Mrs. Davies works in her garden for as long as she wants "now that the arthritis is gone," neighbors stop to say hello and discuss what might have been under the tarp on the back of the third truck. 

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Holly is a freelance writer and copy editor with a background in journalism and publishing. Like a grandmother's purse, she is about three decades old, worn around the edges and mostly full of crap.

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