The Bachelorette: Bentley Williams, A Manipulative, Pathetic Excuse For A Man

Oh, he’s also a cold-hearted vindictive douchebag loser…and a bad dad.

I think it was around minute 12 in episode one of this season's The Bachelorette when we were introduced to Bentley, a 28-year old from Salt Lake City. He was cute for about 2 seconds, then it was all downhill from there.

After plugging his new business, revealing his failed attempt at marriage, displaying a bad attitude, and flaunting a computer image of his young daughter who was likely in the physical care of her mother because he's clearly defective, he smugly said, "I have a lot of things a lot of people don't have." Yes Bentley, you do have a lot of things a lot of people don't have, including the list above, as well as, the exciting trait of being named after a car. Mazel Tov, you just turned ugly.

He followed up by saying that The Bachelorette will "have a hard time ever sending him home without a rose." Wow, thanks for the confidence/display of narcissism 101, Bentley, we very much appreciate the lesson. My emotional intelligence red flags have swiftly flown up and hit me in square in the face. I've decided to DVR the rest of the season because first of all, you're one hot-mess of a case study and second, my therapy-junkie self is officially and inappropriately excited following your blatant exhibition of douchebag-meets-mental instability. Though I've never looked forward to watching this idiotic show in the past, I must say, I'm downright giddy this time.

The plot thickens; last night, episode two... the motherlode. Bentley manages to make The Bachelorette, Ashley, fall in love with him (her sad self will be the topic of a later column), only to let her know that he's leaving because she's just not good enough for him. But worry not friends, he made sure to warn the viewing audience by vocalizing several unforgettable quotes directly into the camera including, "I played everyone, it's something that's never been done before" and "I'm going to make Ashley cry, I hope my hair looks OK."

Not sure if he's asking for a congratulatory button or an f'ing standing ovation.

PS. He didn't actually tell Ashley that he would rather "swim in pee" than be with her, but rather, he turned his daughter into bait and used her as his excuse for leaving, causing me to gag uncontrollably while my husband (who was forced against his will to watch the show with me) to sum it all up with the perfect quote "He's disgusting."

So who the hell is this dirt-ball and why has his ex-wife made it possible for him to walk around the world with his balls still attached to his body? In other words, OMG, WTF? I'm so glad you asked!

The thing about guys like Bentley -- who make an experiment out of making a woman fall in love with them, only to knowingly and proudly break their hearts -- is that they're constantly looking for reminders that they're worth something. Bentley Williams is in fact a pathetic piece of sh*t and when it comes down to it, he couldn't agree more.

The best way to get a dose of self-worth on both sides of the coin for these types of guys is naturally, to get a woman to fall in love with them and then turn around and hurt them, specifically with hopes of seeing them cry over the loss. It's sick and diagnosable. She fell in love with me, my self-esteem is half-full, and then she didn't want me to leave, she even cried over me, I'm completely awesome. Mission accomplished, onto the next challenge.

I know, you're shaking your head. Your nausea has set in and you're realizing that you've met AND dated that guy. That guy whose lack of any kind of self-respect or respect for others has manifested into balls-to-the-wall narcissism which, contrary to popular belief, is not defined as "loving yourself and thinking you're g-d's gift."

A narcissist is actually someone whose self-worth is so non-existent that he/she can only define themselves by other people's opinions of them. Here's the kicker though: narcissists often take it upon themselves to tell everyone what to believe -- I'm so great, blah f'ing blah -- and it usually ends up upsetting people so much that their opinion of said narcissist lands exactly where the narcissist feels he deserves to be. On the bottom of the list. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy people. We all hate Bentley now, and that's exactly how he feels about himself. Once again... mission accomplished.

I don't feel bad for him though, and that's rare for me. The reason? Because he's a bad dad. He's using his daughter to get ahead in life, and that's the very place where douchebag turns mentally unstable, and gets serious. When Bentley is ready to deal with himself and stop crapping on everyone else, I'm sure there will be a therapist open to helping him figure it all out. Until then though, I hope his daughter learns one thing from him; the kind of man to stay the hell away from.

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