Enough with the Sex and the City!

It's over girls

By , Contributor

This is going to be hard. I’m a 45 year-old single man and I know this is not going to make me very popular with the ladies, but I believe in truth above everything and I have to say it. Enough with Sex and the City!

The Daily Mail just reported that they are strongly considering bringing back the fantastic four for more televised sexual antics, and all I have to say to that is GOD, please no more!


OK, I know that you are all angry, but please reflect a bit and put down the pepper spray. Security, I just saw Brooke Miller pick up a spork with malicious intent, stop her before she does something she and I will both regret.

Look, I was a fan of the show. When my best friend told me that women just didn’t talk like that, I responded that maybe they wanted to because I had yet to meet a girl my age who didn’t love the show. I enjoyed it too.

How many of you remember the episode where Carrie was smoking pot with that guy who lived with his parents, and she stole his fried chicken?

Carrie and Mr. big sex and the city.jpgI watched the show religiously. I wanted Magda to get Steve and Miranda back together. I wanted Charlotte to kill Trey’s creepy mother, who used to watch him bathe. I felt bad for Aiden when Carrie cheated on him. I wanted Mr. Big to fly to Paris, but after two movies (one mediocre and the other endless and borderline offensive to all sentient beings on the planet) it’s over.

I know that there is a dearth of roles out there for women in their forties and I’m sympathetic to their plight. That doesn’t mean they need to keep playing the same roles until they are as old as Betty White.

If Sarah Jessica Parker really needs to reboot a television series, how about bringing back  Square Pegs instead?

Sex and the City was all about the chase, and the chase is all over. Three of the girls are married and the fourth is unmarriable and losing the ability to effectively do the nude physical comedy that she so bravely pioneered. When the characters in my stories get hitched up, I like to think they live happily ever after.

It’s hard for me to admit, but oh, about the after the twelfth hour of Sex and the City 2, I seriously started to hate my four best girlfriends. Maybe it was the economic crash that did it, but suddenly I had to deal with the fact that sitting around talking about nothing but $500 shoes and $5000 dollar handbags just didn’t seem so cute anymore.

sex_and_the_city 2.jpg

If you really want to keep Sarah Jessica, Cynthia, Kristin and Kim working, put them on The View. They can even keep their show names and interview the other celebrities under the guise of their Sex characters. “Samantha, come look at Emma Stones' shoes. Girlfriend, where did you get those?”

End this show because it’s getting to the point where this relationship is starting to deserve a post-it note break up.

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Brad Laidman has been a freelance writer since 2000. His work has appeared in Film Threat, Perfect Sound Forever, and Rock and Rap Confidential. His defense of The Kinks' Dave Davies so moved the legendary guitarist that Davies labeled Brad his hero and he has the email to prove it.

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