The Movie Spew: Avatar Is Going to Disneyland

By , Columnist

Avatar to Get a Disney Theme Park, James Cameron to Make Muchas Monies

Contrary to popular belief, James Cameron doesn’t have nearly enough money. I know, I know, you’re probably thinking, “But he made the two most successful films ever, surely he got a taste of that sweet, sweet cash?” Well yes, he did. But that’s just not enough. A man of his stature can’t just own a single measly Caribbean island, so he’s decided to take the next logical step in his career. James Cameron is going to Disneyland. More specifically, his creation Avatar will soon have its own attraction at a Disney theme park. I know, right? Try to contain your excitement.

Apparently the attraction will be creatively titled "Avatar Land" (how do they ever come up with this stuff?!) and will be a part of the Animal Kingdom park in Disney World Florida. The plan is to create a gigantic replica of Pandora that fans can walk through along the way to Avatar-themed rides and, more importantly, souvenir stands. Cameron plans on incorporating material from the sequels into the attraction, but won’t be supervising its construction himself as he’ll be busy with his two planned Avatar sequels.

In a rare moment of acknowledging the achievements of others not named Michael Bay, Cameron claimed he has full confidence in the Disney theme park team at the official press conference, saying "I quickly realized that their vision for this thing was far beyond what I'd imagined - and I've got a pretty good imagination." I’m glad he turned it around at the end there. I was worried he might have become a little humble for a second, but nope. It’s still James “King Of The World” Cameron. No need for concern.

Jason Bateman Signs On for Two More Movies, The Rest of Hollywood Remains Unemployed

Hey, do you like watching Jason Bateman be all Jason Batemany in Jason Bateman-like roles? I kid, of course. We all do. Bateman starred in two comedies this summer and no one complained (well, mainly because one was good and one was abysmal and easy to ignore).


Now the guy is doubling up again with two new Bateman movies announced on the same damn day. The first film will be The Longest Week in which he plays a pampered Manhattan layabout suddenly kicked out of his penthouse onto the street and forced to learn the real values in life.

After that he’ll make Disconnect, an ensemble piece about people who are overly obsessed with the Internet. So there you go, two Bateman movie announcements for the price of one. I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that he plays the charmingly befuddled middle-aged guy in both movies. I’ll bet he even gets the girl. This is the point in the article where I should unleash cries of overexposure, but I like Jason Bateman, so I’ll let it slide…for now.

Nicolas Cage, Vampire?

Have you ever wondered weather or not Nicolas Cage is a vampire? Well, me neither, but apparently there are people out there who do. Specifically one unnamed man who discovered a photo from the 1870s featuring someone who looks suspiciously like Nicolas Cage. niccage1870.gif Rather than go the rational route and say, “Hey, that guy looks like Nic Cage, weird!” and move on, the man who discovered the photo decided to put in on eBay with an asking price of one million dollars. In that listing the seller claims “Personally, I believe it's him and that he is some sort of walking undead / vampire, et cetera, who quickens / reinvents himself once every 75 years or so. 150 years from now, he might be a politician, the leader of a cult, or a talk show host." Clearly this is the type of stable individual who you’d want to exchange one million dollars with. There’s just no way that guy isn’t on the up and up. Happy bidding!

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Phil Brown was born years ago. He then grew up, went to university, and now reviews movies, interviews people and writes comedy. He writes for a number of websites and publications including the one you are currently reading. Phil can be found haunting movie theatres around Toronto. He isn't dangerous,…

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