The Movie Spew: Black Swan Director Plans a Noah's Ark Movie

Also, Cronenberg sequels and Statham joining Fast and Furious franchise?

By , Columnist

Darren Aronofsky to Direct Noah

Last week Warner Brothers offered Steven Spielberg a crack at directing a movie about the life of Moses. I guess this is one of those Deep Impact/Armageddon situations because it appears that there is a rival Biblical epic going on over at Paramount that just got a greenlight.

Paramount’s film will be about Noah (the guy with all of the animals and the big boat) and the project is going to be made with a $100 million budget by none other than Black Swan director Darren Aronofsky.

It’s an odd choice for the filmmaker known for dark hard-edged films like Requiem For A Dream, but I guess the guy might be secretly religious. Aronofsky apparently views it as a “sci-fi” story and had this to say about the impact the Noah’s Ark tale had on him.

"Since I was a kid, I have been moved and inspired by the story of Noah and his family’s journey. The imaginations of countless generations have sparked to this epic story of faith. It’s my hope that I can present a window into Noah’s passion and perseverance for the silver screen,” he said.

An epic sci-fi influenced version of Noah’s Arc from the guy who made Pi and The Wrestler? If nothing else, I’m intrigued simply because I can’t imagine what Aronofsky will do with the material. Hopefully it’ll have the dark intensity of his other work because the one thing no one needs is cheerful Aronofsky movie. That’s an oxymoron if I’ve ever heard one.

Cronenberg Preps a Pair of Sequels

David Cronenberg is definitely one of the least predictable filmmakers out there. Aside from the inevitable perversion and/or violence there’s very little that you can guarantee you’ll get out of the director’s latest flick.

He’s certainly not the kind of guy who you’d expect to repeat himself, but it appears that Cronenberg might have a couple of sequels coming down the pipeline. According to an interview, Cronenberg recently completed a screenplay for a new version of The Fly that he describes as “sort of a sequel.”

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Given that his version of The Fly is one of the best horror movies out there, and seems to only get better with age, a new chapter from would certainly be welcome (let’s just pretend that terrible The Fly II didn’t happen).

However, it’s also a movie that would have to be made through 20th Century Fox and whether or not the studio wants to fund an inevitably twisted, cerebral, and R-rated semi-sequel to a film that came out in 1986 is another question entirely.

Chances are they’ll just hire Michael Bay’s company for one of their quick n’ slick reboots.

Cronenberg is also working on Eastern Promises 2 (though hopefully he’ll come up with a better title). The original screenwriter Steve Knight completed his script recently and given that the original was a modest hit, there’s a damn good chance that audiences could be treated to a second round of Russian mob fun and naked steam-room wrestling.

Normally hearing a sequel is on the way is a reason to projectile vomit and curse the overly calculated ways of the studio system, but with Cronenberg involved, they could both be something special.

Jason Statham Might Join Fast 6 and 7

After years of the franchise being dismissed as the lowest form of dumb action entertainment, the world seemed to fully embrace The Fast And The Furious franchise with the release of the absolutely hysterical Fast Five.

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Deliberate or not, the movie played like a over-the-top comedy with The Rock joining a throwback cast for one of the most ridiculous action spectacles in recent memory. Fast Five was dramatically more successful than expected and as a result Universal has set into motion not one, but two Fast And The Furious sequels to be shot simultaneously in Europe.

It’s an epic production for a pair of dumb movies and apparently Jason Statham is in talks to jump on board. The Stath is always a welcome presence in action flicks and if Fast 6 and 7 are as hilarious as the last movie, he should fit in quite well. It’ll be weird seeing Statham in a pair of all-star action extravaganza franchises with The Expendables 2 also on the way, but if shit is being blown up onscreen, you may as well have Jason Statham there to comment on it. He certainly won’t make the movie worse, that’s for damn sure.

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Phil Brown was born years ago. He then grew up, went to university, and now reviews movies, interviews people and writes comedy. He writes for a number of websites and publications including the one you are currently reading. Phil can be found haunting movie theatres around Toronto. He isn't dangerous,…

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