The Movie Spew: Eddie Murphy to Host the Oscars?!

By , Columnist

Eddie Murphy: Oscar Host

Here’s a weird one. Despite the fact that he hasn’t performed live since the '80s and even notoriously stormed out of the ceremony once himself, it appears that Eddie Murphy will host the Oscars this year.

Apparently the show is being produced by Brett “Mediocrity” Ratner this year and he’s convinced Murphy to come on board after getting him to dip back into his reservoir and play a funny, streetwise tough in the upcoming Tower Heist.

Even though it’s been quite a while since he made a movie that I enjoyed, I gotta say that Murphy could be a great choice. He’s an incredible stand-up comedian and it’s been so long since he’s performed on stage that I think people have forgotten just how cripplingly funny he can be with a microphone.

The guy has also been considering a return to stand-up for years, so this could be quite the launching pad. Lord knows that after last year’s Oscar telecast, some comedy would be a welcome addition to the ceremony. Whether or not Eddie is still in fighting shape remains to be seen, but worst case scenario it should at least be interesting to watch him try.

Beetlejuice Gets Rebooted

Well, people, today is a sad day for all Michael Keaton lovers. Apparently the powers-that-be at Warner Brothers have decided to remake Beetlejuice for reasons best known to themselves. It’s a real shame because that film easily remains one of the funniest comedies of the '80s and features possibly the finest performance of Keaton’s career.


I’d always hoped for a late-inning Beetlejuice sequel and knew that both Burton and Keaton have been up for it for years. Yet, sadly we’re going to get a younger, sexier Beetlejuice instead. I don’t know about you, but the fact that Beetlejuice is considered a movie ripe for remake treatment makes me feel old and depressed. Thank god for alcohol. The film will apparently be in the hands of Seth Grahame-Smith who wrote the popular gimmick novels Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. Feel free to vomit now. It’s really the only sensible reaction.

Shockingly, The Critics Hate Madonna's New Movie

And finally Madonna’s new movie just premiered in Venice and unsurprisingly she’s already been torn apart by the critics. Why Madonna continues to insist that she will be a filmmaker remains a mystery. I guess she just had that much fun making Swept Away with her former husband Guy Ritchie and must continue to express herself through cinema no matter how misconceived that decision may be.

Her latest movie is called W.E. and here are a few venomous highlights of the bad press she’s gotten so far. Whoever is in charge of the Razzie awards should take notice. They’ve got a big winner (if that’s the right word) on their hands.

The Guardian: “Whatever the crimes committed by Wallis Simpson—marrying a king, sparking a constitutional crisis, fraternising with Nazis—it's doubtful that she deserves the treatment meted out to her in W.E, Madonna’s jaw-dropping take on ‘the 20th-century's greatest royal love story.’ The woman is defiled, humiliated, made to look like a joke. The fact that W.E. comes couched in the guise of a fawning, servile snow-job only makes the punishment feel all the more cruel…. What an extraordinarily silly, preening, fatally mishandled film this is.”

Variety: “Burdened with risible dialogue and weak performances, pic doesn't have much going for it apart from lavish production design and terrific, well-researched costumes.”

The Hollywood Reporter: “...closely resembles a sumptuous documentary about a young beauty on an exclusive shopping expedition.”

The Times of London: “Screamingly, inadvertently funny.”


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Phil Brown was born years ago. He then grew up, went to university, and now reviews movies, interviews people and writes comedy. He writes for a number of websites and publications including the one you are currently reading. Phil can be found haunting movie theatres around Toronto. He isn't dangerous,…

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