Coldplay Gears Up for Tour by Soliciting Tony Tutor

Gwyneth Paltrow doesn't believe in low-key, understated nonsense, only the finest for her brood.

By , Contributor

Nothing says "tour" like advertising for a tutor? A pal of Coldplay frontman Chris Martin and wife Gwyneth Paltrow has blabbed to UK's Sun that the power couple are looking for a tutor for their two children, Apple, 7 and Moses, 5. But unless you're a musical, athletic member of Mensa don't even bother applying for the £60,000 ($98,000) a year job. The august rag reveals that the Martins are looking for someone bilingual, able to play two instruments, and sporty, and preferably Oxbridge-educated.

The job requires the candidate to work from Martin's home in Belsize Park, North London, and that they have the ability to travel with the couple and Apple and Moses on a moment's notice. The workload isn't even that taxing, unless you mind fending off paparazzi while you put in your two- to four-hour daily curriculum. An added perk is they have use of the showbiz couple's West London flat and you don't even have to like Coldplay's music.

Just in case you do, Coldplay will be streaming their new song "Every Teardrop Is A Waterfall" tomorrow morning at their official website. Always considerate, they've put up lyrics (and artwork) in case you want to sing along.

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Jaan Uhelszki was one of the founding editors at Detroit’s legendary Creem magazine. Since that time, her work has appeared in USA Today, Uncut, Rolling Stone, Spin, NME, Relix, and Guitar World. She is the only journalist to have ever performed in full makeup with Kiss. Luckily she only had to put…

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