Paul McCartney's Third Wife Must Learn to Live With Ghost

Paul's new wife Nancy will have to contend with the memory of his late wife Linda, an ever present reminder of Paul's one great love.

By , Contributor

If you know anything about Sir Paul McCartney, it's that he's in love with love. He wrote many beautiful love songs for his long time girlfriend, Jane Asher. He wrote many more for his first wife, Linda Eastman. He even wrote a love song to marijuana called "Got to Get You into My Life."

At one time he loved Heather Mills so much that he stopped smoking marijuana, which, knowing Paul and his Japanese excursion to jail, meant a lot, although apparently not enough to overcome the gradual disgust of having a wife who insists on defecating in a chamber pot in your bed.

Paul loves love so much that after playing the field with Rosanna Arquette, herself the inspiration of a number of hit songs, he has decided to marry yet again to a woman named Nancy Shevell, "a vice president for administration of New England Motor Freight Inc., a New Jersey-based trucking company owned by her father," which frankly sounds pretty mafia to me.

Nancy sounds like she has some of her own money, and who among us doesn't recognize that Paul is still pretty cute for a 68-year-old guy. Nancy will get to accompany our favorite musical knight to many swanky, swinging London events. She'll get to continue to hob knob with the best the English world has to offer. Frankly, she'll probably have a pretty good time hanging with the "definitely not dead" ex-Beatle.

I still wouldn't marry the man and here's why.

PaulLinda.jpegWhen I get married, I want it to be forever. I want to be the one that lights up my partner's life like no other in both this world and the next. Nancy, like Heather before her, has absolutely no chance of this ever happening. Paul might feel strongly for Nancy, but the fact remains that Linda was and will forever be his soul mate.

When they are getting busy - well, as busy as you can get when you are 68 - somewhere deep in Paul's heart he will be wishing it was Linda. If there is an afterlife, Paul won't be looking to hook up with John Lennon or Jimi Hendrix, he'll be looking for Linda. When he's on his deathbed and in a delirious state of senility, he'll be calling Nancy ... Linda. You just don't keep letting someone with that little musical talent on stage with you for decades unless you love her eternally and without reserve. Linda was his soul mate.

So, good luck, Nancy. You'll get to call yourself Mrs. Macca for probably the next 6-8 years, but if it were me I'd just shack up with Pauly, because no matter how much he cares for you, every time you see a sudden mist in his eye you'll know forever that he's thinking of his soul mate and it isn't you.

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Brad Laidman has been a freelance writer since 2000. His work has appeared in Film Threat, Perfect Sound Forever, and Rock and Rap Confidential. His defense of The Kinks' Dave Davies so moved the legendary guitarist that Davies labeled Brad his hero and he has the email to prove it.

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