Bachelor Pad 2011: Summary, Speculation, and Snark

By , Contributor

First things first. Chris Harrison, the handsome host of Bachelor Pad, The Bachelor, and The Bachelorette, will be hosting the 2012 Miss America Pageant on January 14, 2012 at Planet Hollywood Resort and Casino in Las Vegas.

The pageant will be broadcast on ABC at 9p/10c. This is Chris’s third time hosting the pageant and the second in a row. Our congrats to Chris who is, I assert, a great host.

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Now let us begin with a summary of The Bachelor Pad, which aired its finale this week and which had the most unbelievable ending ever. NO, WAIT! I’m drifting over to the snark part.

I rarely do a post on a competitive reality TV show after the finale because, well, why? But for this series I really must do a follow-up due to my great surprise... though I was not necessarily disappointed.

As of last night there were four couples left in The Bachelor Pad: Kasey and Vienna, Michael and Holly, Ella and Kirk, and Graham and Michelle.

The final challenge included a stint to star in the Cirque du Soleil. As these things go, it came down to two final couples: Holly and Michael and Graham and Michelle.

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Holly and Michael were the couple that had been engaged and somehow ended up back together at the Pad. Their time in the Pad was constantly filled with anguish; the viewer never got a clue as to why they broke up to begin with, a situation that had me constantly complaining.

Michelle was a contender during Bachelor Brad’s series and she was a drama queen during that run as well as during her stay in the Bachelor Pad this season. Graham and Michelle revealed that she’d recently lost her father and Michelle praised Graham for his comfort and solace during this most difficult time. The couple professed a great affection for each other but I didn’t quite hear the word “love.”

This is the show's second season and I didn’t remember how it ended last year. Thus I was intrigued by how the final couple is selected. All of the contenders removed from the Pad were gathered together on a follow-up with host Chris Harrison. Each past contender voted for one of the two remaining couples. Michael and Holly received the majority of the votes and were pronounced the winners of this season of The Bachelor Pad.

But there is only one quarter of a million dollar prize and which of the winning couple wins the money is determined, again, in a most intriguing fashion. Michael and Holly would each retire to a separate room. They had a slate on which they would write either the word “share” or “keep.” If they both wrote the word “share” they would split the prize money. If only one wrote the word “keep” while the other wrote “share” the one who wrote “keep” would get all the money. If they both wrote the word “keep,” neither would get any money and it would instead be split amongst the evicted contenders. Holly and Michael both wrote the word “share” and each now has $125,000 in prize money.

As I can only speculate as to the deal with Michael and Holly since it was never revealed just why they broke up, I have a theory. Yes I know it’s none of my business but I’d point out that for many shows these two were sniffing and moaning over each other over the public airwaves and a curiosity as to what’s the deal is a normal reaction to this very planned drama to be played out before my viewing eyeballs. The Bachelor Pad producers could have cut all the melodrama out, for example, is what I’m saying here. They wanted us viewers to speculate, and so I do.

Obviously those two broke up and I suspect it was because Michael returned to a former flame, or else he found another. The only allusion I ever heard was Holly’s assertion that Michael broke her heart. Michael did constantly moon over Holly but he never outright said he still loved her or made any reference to her breaking HIS heart.

So there you have it, my speculation on the Michael and Holly melodrama of The Bachelor Pad, 2011.

On to a bit of snark. Come on. Blake, who was painted as an evil doer of the highest order because he didn’t love Erica and didn’t allow her to seduce him; Blake who professed a fondness for Holly but worried for her former relationship with Michael; Blake who really never led Melissa on but she went batshit because she claimed he did…yes, THAT Blake. So Blake sits on the hot seat next to Harrison and a video plays. It shows Michael asking Holly to marry him and she accepts.

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Well, that was a shock. A sweet shock, if you will, the sort of thing viewers of the Bachelor series love to see.

Only it would turn out, ahem, that no one told Michael.

Say what?

Michael and Holly come on the set as one of the final two contenders and THEN, in front of the whole world, Holly breaks the news that she’s now engaged to Blake.

I got a bridge to sell to anyone who believes this weird set of circumstances wasn’t scripted. Again, come on! Blake and Holly get engaged and what ... they sneakily agree that they would do the mean and tell Michael on live TV that he may sob in front of the world?

Michael did an okay job of pretending to be shocked and horrified but, by my speculation, he has a lover awaiting his return and it was all an act.

Not that it wasn’t cool scripting and perfectly in line with the nature of the series. One side of my brain emoted the tragedy of it while the other side of my brain kept screaming, "COME ON! This is totally not believable!"

Finally, Kasey and Vienna. Whew! They are still a couple but to re-watch the nastiness of Vienna to Kasey, and to her former flame, Jake, it’s a wonder Vienna can get any guy. It was a hoot to hear Jake say that he feels that Vienna rose to fame and fortune playing up their breakup. It sure looks like Kasey and Vienna will soon be history and hey, Vienna will have more stories to sell to the tabloids.

If you've got an insight to share, email me: pat.fish@themortonreport.com.

Check in every day for new columns and updates.


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Pat Fish has been a blogger for almost ten years. She has been published numerous times in the Chicken Soup for the Soul and Cup of Comfort book series and wrote for Blogcritics. She has written a few books and vows to write till death does part her from the keyboard. Pat loves to write about current…

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