I’ve been a little busy this month so I’ve missed a few episodes of The Bachelorette. Don’t hate me. Thankfully, after some intense research and ABC online viewing, I managed to catch myself up on this mental health dog and pony show just in time for the 16-hour finale and the "after the rose" finale.
Admittedly, I’m still a bit flustered after witnessing Ryan P. beg for another chance from Ashley a few weeks ago. All I really heard him say was "I lost my balls somewhere in Thailand, please help me find them," though I’m pretty sure he meant for the message to come out differently. I remain embarrassed for all parties involved.
There, now you’re caught up too. Moving onto the finale.
Ashley’s sad, lower-than-low self-esteem shined through beautifully when, after two guys professed their love to her, she remained firm that her biggest fear is that the person she loves doesn’t love her back. For months I’ve been convinced that Ashley needed massive therapy, but I’m now realizing that she simply needs a hearing aid and massive therapy.
Regardless of her inability to hear, Ashley does in fact have an uncanny ability to feel. Her sister Chrystie, however, fell short in the feelings department. Invited to join Ashley in Figi to help figure out who she would pick, Chrystie acted like a judgmental divorcee with a chip on her shoulder when she told JP she didn't think he was the one for her sister. Or in Ashley’s words, “a bitch.” But worry not, Ashley learned an amazing lesson after being emotionally bitch-slapped by sissy. She said, “I learned today that I maybe have to trust my own feelings or try to.”
Wow, and you thought watching The Bachelorette wouldn’t be profound.
Ashley was left with her own feelings, an amazing amount of information for her future therapist, hottie meets sweetie JP, and Constantine look-alike Ben. What ever will she do? Well, apparently she did both JP and Ben. But I digress.
In the end, Ashley found true love with JP, which for many viewers is astounding given the personal self-hatred we witnessed all season coming from Ash. She allowed her past to determine her present over and over again during the season as she watched men walk out on her just like her father did. Her fear of rejection was apparent every episode, though moments of empowerment began to surface, and maybe even a little self-love. Thank G-d.
I personally don’t believe that a person has to love
themselves before they find true love. I believe that a person has to, on some level deep down inside, simply believe they are worthy of love. Somewhere packed into all her baggage, Ashley had that belief. There are countless people who find love before they actually fall in love with themselves and I’m sure they, along with Ashley Hebert, would tell you
sometimes it just takes feeling loved for real in order to see how it’s really done.