The Bachelorette: Blake, The Angry Dentist/15-Year Old Girl

Why hating the happy might just mean you're a miserable person.

I've become obsessed with the mental health train wreck that is this season of The Bachelorette. Sure, it's always been a mental health train wreck of a show, but this is the first season that The Morton Report is simultaneously up and running along side of it, so I have a fabulous new platform to utilize this massive shitstorm of a show as a learning opportunity for all. I would be a fool to pass it up.

This week included The Bachelorette, Ashley Hebert, joining the men she's falling in love with but has known for three weeks, on a trip to Thailand. The landscape is gorgeous and is sure to trick everyone into thinking they're in love, which is obviously gripping to watch. A quick recap: JP is a fab kisser and will likely win the season, Constantine is sweet but needs oil absorbing facial pads desperately, Ryan P. takes happy pills, Ashley said the name Bentley so many times I almost vomited. Ben can paint an elephant, and Ashley is convinced that it means something deep that she and Ames both wore navy blue on the same day. Awesome, now you're all caught up.

My favorite sideshow in this episode was when angry Blake told Ryan P. that he doesn't like him because he's too excited about things, he gets "extremely enthusiastic and boisterous" about life and the like, and wonders if he's genuine. AKA, Blake hates the happy guy... for being too happy. That's it. It's like Emotional Health gold - I'm officially in a g-damn psychological commentary candy store. Someone pinch me.

Here's the deal: if someone is clearly fake happy, then go forth and be massively annoyed by their fakeness. It's all good, I fully support you in your efforts. I would be annoyed too. (I would also give them my business card, but that's beside the point.) When you're annoyed and dislike someone simply because they're actually happy all the time, or because you assume them to be happy, well, it's time to look in the mirror. Closely.


Hating-the-happy happens when said hated person's happiness reminds us of the happiness we lack. When we're reminded (unconsciously) that we lack something or we're not fully living our best life, we're pissed. The unhappiness or dissatisfaction within ourselves gets misinterpreted as dislike as it makes its way to the surface, and becomes displaced on the happy person, supposedly responsible for rocking the boat - or the materially successful person, or the beautiful person, or the satisfied in their career person, or the healthy person.

The whole hating-the-happy person in the room is as pathetic as it is universal. I'm proud to stand up and say I've been there many times. I'm also proud to say that I wasn't on national television and I'm emotionally intelligent enough to have caught myself in the act fast enough to get it together and avoid acting like a PMSing 15-year-old post break-up. But no such luck for Blake the dentist.

During his rant, Blake said, "It's like he's eight years old. That kind of zest for life is fine every now and then, but at the same time when you deal with it every single day it becomes just completely infuriating." Yes, Ryan P. is pretty annoying at times and I wouldn't be surprised if he's in the closet and an amazing finale is in store, but really Blake? Stop being such a brat to other people because Ashley doesn't like you best. Your miserable loser-ville attitude is fine every now and then, but listening to you complain for one more second is becoming completely infuriating.

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