The Movie Spew: Miramax and Facebook to Join Forces in Annoyance

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Miramax And Facebook: Together At Last

I’ll bet you thought it was impossible for anything to be more annoying than the life-sucking dependency of Facebook or the tattered self-importance of Miramax, right?

Well, you’re wrong, my friends, because today the film studio that brought you The English Patient and the website that ate up all of your free time this morning have announced plans to come together for cross-platform annoyance.

Apparently Facebook’s desire to copy and/or absorb all profitable websites under its banner has extended to Netflix. That’s right, you’ll now be able to indulge in video-on-demand through Facebook and watch movies while stalking old high school crushes for three bucks a pop. For some reason those movies will be almost exclusively coming from Miramax and you’ll soon be able to stream Good Will Hunting and Pulp Fiction through Facebook, and eventually download the movies through the site to play on any and all computer devices.

The whole things seems incredibly unnecessary, but I suppose there are still some people out there who will spend a few hours away from Facebook to watch a movie and Mark Zuckerberg just isn’t prepared to let that happen. Shame on you for even thinking about it.

Transformers 3 to Ruin Audiences' Retinas/Brains in IMAX

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You spent the money to see it, felt guilty immediately afterwards, but at least came out of the theater relieved that Transformers: Dark Of The Moon was out of your life forever, right? Oh, you are so wrong. You see, because everyone guiltily decided to indulge in Michael Bay’s vision of robot explosions and T&A, the movie has officially made over $1 billion worldwide and Paramount has decided to milk this cash cow a little further.

The eye-battering seizure fest will soon be coming to IMAX for a celebratory two-week run. A few extra million dollars will trickle through the box office while audiences will get to see the CGI stupidity on the largest screen imaginable.

Given that Michael Bay’s mantra appears to be “bigger is better,” it’s actually kind of surprising that the movie stayed away from IMAX for this long. Hopefully, seeing the deeply stupid movie on such a large scale won’t be too damaging. The two-week run from Aug 26-Sept 8 occurs just in time for the school year, which could potentially destroy a vast number of brain cells before the poor kids even have a chance to start learning again. It’s a cause for concern.

Finally, A Porno Period Piece in 3D

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Well, people, today is a day you will remember for the rest of your lives. Because you are about to learn about the existence of 3D Sex And Zen: Extreme Ecstasy, an Asian erotic period drama in 3D. That’s right, soon you will finally get to experience the joy of seeing a lady’s naughty bits and daggers poke out of a movie screen in 3D. The movie is very real and has already set records at the Hong Kong box office, where it has officially brought in more money than both Avatar and Titantic.

Whether or not it will even get a North American release remains to be seen, but the ridiculous movie does fulfill every 12-year-old boy's movie fantasies about as fully as Trasformers: Dark of the Moon, and that movie is going to be playing in IMAX, for godssakes!

You can watch a trailer for the 3D blood 'n' booby fest below. Just be aware that while it’s not fully X rated, the trailer is most definitely not safe for work.


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Phil Brown was born years ago. He then grew up, went to university, and now reviews movies, interviews people and writes comedy. He writes for a number of websites and publications including the one you are currently reading. Phil can be found haunting movie theatres around Toronto. He isn't dangerous,…

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