The Movie Spew: The Coen Brothers Return, Die Hard 5 Moves Forward, And Romancing the Stone Heads To TV

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The Coen Brothers Plan A Faux Folk Music Bio-Pic

After being spoiled by at least one Coen Brothers movie per years since 2007, 2011 looks to be sadly Coens free. But, fear not young film geeks. You can wipe away those tears because the sibling geniuses of cinema have their next project lined up and ready to go.

The film will be called Inside Llewyn Davis and will be a faux-musical biopic about a fictional American folk musician from the '60s a la Bob Dylan. It’s certainly a change of pace for the Coens, but given that they practically try a new genre out every time they step behind the camera, it feels oddly appropriate.

I’d imagine that they’ve got a funny and subversive take on the genre up their sleeves. It definitely won’t be a silly biopic parody like the underrated Walk Hard, but I’m sure it’ll be an odd commentary on that specific moment in American pop culture nonetheless. If nothing else, it’s nice to know that the Coens’ sudden commercial success hasn’t curbed their desire to experiment. No matter how successful they get, these guys remain the most unpredictable filmmakers around. 

Max Payne Director Hired For Die Hard 5, Fans Lose All Hope

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Well, Die Hard 5, a film that promises John McClane shootin’ people and spitting out one-liners in Russia, has officially moved one step closer to production today. Unfortunately, the promises of the franchise taking a bold new direction under the guidance of bold directors like Bronson’s Nicholas Winding Refn or Attack The Block’s Joe Cornish have proved to be little more than sweet, sweet Internet rumor.

No, instead the job has been handed to flashy director John Moore, the man responsible for the almost incomprehensible Max Payne, and the borderline reprehensible remake of The Omen. I guess that means we can expect another generic action movie like the instantly forgettable Live Free Or Die Hard. The lone plus is that Moore apparently plans to film gloriously CGI-free action scenes with actual explosions.

Sadly that happens all too rarely in action movies these days and would definitely be nice. However, I just don’t know if this franchise can come back from a fourth chapter in which Bruce Willis took down a jet all by himself. Can you really be an everyman after that?

Also, considering the fact that Willis won’t even pose for movie posters anymore, do you think he’ll really want to participate in complex action scenes rather than just counting his money in front of a green screen. I would absolutely love it if another good Die Hard movie existed, but somehow I don’t see that happening. Sigh…


Romancing the Stone To Become A TV Show For Some Reason 

romancingthestone.gifThey say TV is entertaining a Renaissance at the moment, with remarkable original programming like Mad Men and Breaking Bad tearing up the airwaves while the movie theaters are dominated by crappy remakes and sequels.

While TV is certainly offers more freedom to artists than ever before, it’s a mistake to think that the medium is above creating trash. Case in point, NBC’s recent decision to remake Romancing the Stone as a weekly TV series.

That’s right, that moderately popular Michael Douglas/Katherine Turner movie that plays all the time on basic cable will soon be available in weekly chapters. Admittedly, the lives of an Indiana Jones-style adventurer and a romance novelist do open up plenty of options for a TV series, but a) how can a weekly series compete with the scale and budget of an international feature film production and b) would NBC kill them to come up with an original action series rather than a remake?

I’d wager the Romancing The Stone series won’t make it past a failed pilot, so why don’t we all just agree to forget this news right now. It’ll just be easier for everyone. 

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Phil Brown was born years ago. He then grew up, went to university, and now reviews movies, interviews people and writes comedy. He writes for a number of websites and publications including the one you are currently reading. Phil can be found haunting movie theatres around Toronto. He isn't dangerous,…

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