Ask Calorie Ken: Can You Wire My Mouth Shut?

By , Columnist

Marcie in North Carolina asks, "Dear Calorie Ken, Can you wire my mouth shut for me?"

Dearest Marcie, Calorie Ken is sure you are asking this question with a bit of tongue-in-cheek humor, but suspects there might be some real desperation there. You've tried dieting a gazillion times, it hasn't worked, so now you're thinking, "Maybe I should just wire my jaw shut so I can't eat," right?

Not so fast. Along with horrible things like sewing on a tongue patch to make it difficult to eat solid food (7 Weird Weight Loss Scams We Hope You Never Buy), wiring one's jaw shut is a way to force you to starve yourself into losing weight. 

However, remember Marcie, weight loss is not the goal. Weight loss is the byproduct of changing one's mind and making healthier choices. While jaw-wiring keeps you from eating solid food, it doesn't stop you from desiring it, and you can still suck more calories through a straw on a daily basis than you need.   

Be proactive, Marcie.  Create a plan.  Check out the WebMD Body Mass Index Tool.  Body Mass Index, or BMI, is a measure of weight as it relates to height, age, and gender. This is an excellent, multi-purpose, easy-to-use, FREE tool that gives you your BMI, body shape (height to weight ratio), healthy weight, daily calorie needs, target heart rate zones, and a Personal summary and meal and exercise planner.  Then, check out the WebMD Food-O-Meter to help you make better choices about what goes down your gullet. 

Marcie, whether you are eating solid food or sucking sustenance through a straw, you only need so much to be your swankiest. Forget about starving yourself. Instead, know your targets and create a plan.  And, after a healthy meal of solid food and a good tooth brushing, show us those pearly whites minus the jaw-wired grill!


Swanky reader, Calorie Ken wants to hear from you!  Post your comments below, and send your questions to  And, tell others!  Post on Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, LinkedIn...everywhere, and share with your e-mail distribution lists. We hope to make Calorie Ken the Dear Abby of good health and nutrition, and we need your help.  Cheers! 

Share this story About the author

For two years, Ken Brooks (Calorie Ken) was a volunteer in the Tufts University CALERIE Study. He is now a nutrition evangelist. Send your nutrition, weight management, general health and exercise questions to

View Profile
Visit Website

More from Ken
Related Tags

Connect With TMR

Recent Writers

View all writers »

October 2016
2 3 4 5 6 7 8
9 10 11 12 13 14 15
16 17 18 19 20 21 22
23 24 25 26 27 28 29
30 31