I Have a Dream

Declare a dream for your love life.

By , Columnist

Oprah once had a father on her show who said, "Every father has a dream for his family." My dad’s dream for me, his only child, was that I be married and give him grandkids. Unfortunately, I knew when I was quite young that I didn’t want to have children. I suggested he bury that dream in his backyard under his prized rhubarb. But he held on tight to it for a couple of decades and then finally let it go.

My dream for myself was a little different. I wanted a loving marriage with lots of fun, adventure, and good work. Was that too much to ask? Perhaps, but I hold on tight.

I thought I had found the man of my dream, but I was wrong. Even my dad knew. Only several weeks in to that relationship, my dad asked with a twinkle in his eye, "Where’s the ring?" I pointed out that his request was far too premature. But, as he knew he had little time on this earth, my dad was trying to give me a quick clue on his way out: he’s not the one.

So, it’s time to refresh my dream for my love life. Standing at the proverbial foot of the Lincoln Memorial, freshly emancipated, honoring one of the greatest Fathers of our time, Martin Luther King:

I say to you today, my friends, even though I face the relationship difficulties of today and tomorrow, still reeling from the breakup with a man who betrayed and lied, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American woman’s dream.

I have a dream that one day a man will rise up and make himself known to me, a man who lives from his heart and tells the truth. We hold this truth to be self-evident: that real men tell the truth.

I have a dream that one day in a restaurant in the Land of Los Angeles, this man of integrity - who happens to have all of his hair still, a healthy career and love for himself - will ask me what I’d like to drink, and maybe even open my car door.

I have a dream that one day even the Land of These Angels, a city sweltering with the heat of silicone, simmering with the flame of ageism, will be transformed into a world where true love can grow even for a woman of a certain age.

I have a dream that I will be judged by neither age nor size of boob, but on the content of my character.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day, surrounded by flowers and gorgeous friends, perhaps in the hills of Umbria, I will be wed to this beautiful man of integrity and wit, and we will join hands forever to start a grand adventure together.

I have a dream today.

What is your dream for your love life?

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Bridget Fonger is the co-author of “The Lazy Woman’s Guide to Just About Everything,” a book that helps women become happier, more passionate and fulfilled by living the “Lazy Way,” aka with less stress and more joy! Ms. Fonger has been featured on HGTV several times with her home décor and…

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