The Missoni for Target Craze is Totally Overrated

You won't find me punching anyone to get my hands on a zig-zag dress.

By , Columnist

Yesterday, amidst a storm of hype, Target debuted their Missoni for Target line. And people - it was insane. Stores were sold out in minutes! People were jerking clothes from the hands of others! The Target website crashed!

The luxury Italian knitwear designer, which usually sells pieces priced anywhere from $595 to $1500, partnered with Target to bring a 400-piece line of affordable clothes, luggage, bikes and housewares to the common folk.

Being one of those commoners, I hastily clicked over to the Target website to discover what the hype was all about - obviously if it's causing such pandimonium, it's got to be good! - only to be left in utter confusion.

Whilst true fashionistas will roll their eyes, I've got to say it: What, exactly, is so great about a bunch of colorful zig-zags? Not only do my eyes hurt, but I'm slowly becoming hypnotized by the nauseating array of jumbled patterns and ill-matched colors. Behold:

Rock on, Mr. Rogers!

Missoni 1.JPGWhat's that you say? Why yes, I believe John Travolta did wear that in Saturday Night Fever!

Does this come in a size Tall? I'd like to throw some stilts on beneath this volumnious circus jumper.

And look! They've even been so nice as to pair each "look" into an outfit, so we're sure not to look silly when we mismatch our Missoni items. Thank God!

You can even stay warm in Missoni, with an array of fugly blankets:

And decorate your home a la Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me:

After been visually assaulted by Missoni, I commend the marketing and public relations professionals who promoted the launch of this line. Kudos on creating so much build up and hype that shoppers forgot to care about what they were buying, and instead flash-mobbed Target in the hopes of coming out with anything Missoni. Color me impressed, if not still dazed and confused.

Ok, haters. Time to hate! Tell me why I'm a fashion noob for not giving any women black eyes over a Missoni jumpsuit.

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Rachel East is a freelance writer specializing in relationships and relationship advice. In addition to her regular column on TMR, Rachel contributes relationship content to the Levo League, formerly known as Pretty Young Professional, a website for young, professional and ambitious women. Her writing…

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