From The Morton Blog

Ashton Kutcher Too Dumb For Safe Sex

What? I'm what they call man-pretty, I can't help that the ladies love me!

By , Contributor
Ashton Kutcher's sex romp a few weeks ago is making a come back by way of Us Magazine's interview with his partner in crime, 22-year-old Sara Leal. 

Like any famewhore who's worth her salt, Sara sold her story of sexy times with Kelso, and while the details are pretty boring (I'm holding out for the leaked sex tape), she does reveal one nugget of interest.  Ashton didn't bother to wrap his gift before giving her his "d*ck in a box." 

Ok, I get it, you're Ashton Kutcher, you're a famous actor with a hit show and a billion twitter followers. What's not to love ladies, right? Oh, except the part where we all figure out that Ashton Kutcher is truly as dumb in real life as all the characters he's played since he was 20.

dude.jpg"DUDE, where's my schwanzt? 

"There it is dude, in that chick WHO IS NOT YOUR WIFE!!"


Ashton has peaked, he's done, it's over.

Redforeman.jpgThe minute you start thinking that you are so famous, so great, so loved, so wonderful that you don't have to use your brain, it's  the beginning of the end.

Not only is it stupid to hook up with chicks who aren't famous, when you are married to one who is (they will ALWAYS sell their story), but it's stupid to sleep with any chick you just met and not use a condom. 

There's a name for that kind of stupidity, it's called STDs!  Oh, and nevermind getting some random chick knocked up, because why not go around handing out GOLDEN TICKETS?

I feel sorry for Demi, because you know, she's old and stuff and it must be hard to come up with new ways to keep Ashton from being himself.  However, if she takes him back after this, she's even dumber than he is.

I think Mr. Foreman said it best, so take it away Red!

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I have written and covered celebrity, entertainment and popular culture for over ten years. I also created celebrity web-site as part of the network. When both sites were purchased in 2008 by, she joined their editorial team as Entertainment Editor and then…

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