Don’t Follow the Rule of Kate: Gosselins Spend, but Smarties Save

I call BS on Kate's whining. Whether she's worth $5mil or not, there's no excuse for her crying poor.

By , Columnist

If you’ve been following entertainment and TV news at all, you’ll know that Kate Plus 8 recently said its final farewell to the reality circuit. About time, right? Well, unfortunately for the world at large, Gosselin-induced drama isn’t done yet.

Now that she’s “jobless,” Kate Gosselin is telling any media outlet who will listen how horribly “freaked out” she is and frightened for her children’s welfare. After all, she says, she’s never “quit” a job before without having something else lined up!

Kate, let’s be honest here. You didn’t quit, you were pretty much fired. Why? Because you’re a drama whore who pimps her kids out for entertainment value while saying it’s all for their own good.

And regarding the money, anyone who can do simple math understands that raising 8 kids to maturity is a financial pain in the ass. Some analysts say (yes, apparently there are analysts for this sort of thing) that the Gosselins could be looking at over $3.4 million to support their children up to their college years.

While that seems like an absurdly huge number, the fact is that the famous octo-clan brought in nearly that amount in just a single season of Kate Plus 8, where TV Guide says Kate earned about $250,000 per episode. She also banked a $500,000 check from her 5-week stint as Dancing with the Stars’ top ratings draw.

Yes, she Kate-Gosselin crying.jpghad to split some of her fortune with her ex when they divorced (and by fortune, I mean the up to $75,000 they made per episode of Jon & Kate Plus 8 and the up to $40,000 per speaking engagement they raked in), but sources allege that she’s currently receiving upwards of $20,000 per month in child support from him. So, the kids should easily be covered, right?

Apparently not. Apparently, no one in this family has ever heard of a savings account, moderate-growth investments or trust funds.

When you go from pauper to princess practically overnight, the immediate urge is to follow the Rule of Kate; that is, to adapt your lifestyle to your newfound windfall. We’re talking $1,000 haircuts and dye jobs, $7,000 hair extensions, buying a severely over-priced house, and entering every last one of your children in a hugely expensive private school… all of this is a horrible, horrible idea. Kate_Gosselin_yelling.jpg

Why you ask? What if you suddenly “quit” (read: are fired) from your fantastic job and can no longer keep up with your monthly expenses? You’re looking at a second lifestyle change that’s just as dramatic as and significantly more traumatic than the first. This is especially true when you have children, which is why you need to be as cautious with your money as possible.

ALWAYS save and/or invest as much of your income as you can and, while a few splurges are to be expected (what’s the fun of a humongous check if you don’t get to spend some of it!), you should always try to live as far below your means as you comfortably can. This is true whether you’re making $350,000 or $35,000 per year, guys.

Otherwise, you’ll end up like Kate Gosselin, a woman with 8 kids and great “sexy” hair, pining for a fortune-that-was instead of anticipating a secure future.

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Emmie Scott is an English major-turned-marketing exec, with a passion for writing, humor, sharing knowledge, and "pink drinks." After hours, she started Are Toe Rings Professional Attire?, a blog for college grads and twenty-somethings looking to find their way through that daunting labyrinth called…

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