Week after week I've watched Ashley Hebert on The Bachelorette fall straight into the black hole of father issues like a shiny ball in a pinball machine. No matter how much she tries to avoid it, she keeps plummeting into the same damn trap: the guy who treated her with profound and disgusting disrespect, Bentley Williams.
Finally, after weeks of his name being said more times than I could stomach, ABC flew Bentley half-way around the world for a vacation in China and a five-minute conversation with Ashley. This finally led her to figure out that he is a douche-bag among all douche-bags. Thank f'ing g-d. She said goodbye to him for good, freeing herself from the guy who makes everyone's ex look like a saint. I literally cheered out loud... yes, I am that girl.
I've been asked why I put myself through the agony of watching this wretched show for two hours every Monday night. Apparently, I'm a mental health masochist, because I can't seem to get enough. I really couldn't care less about the sub-par romance going on, but from a psychological perspective, saying goodbye to Bentley will hopefully make it possible for the next layer of Ashley's issues to surface and be worked through.
Initially she fell head over heals for Bentley, who just
like her father, left her while leaving the possibility of getting back together
open-ended. She's realized that she deserved clarity, which she received, but
unfortunately has now progressed to the next level: setting her sights on someone who simply won't reject her.
That clearly won't be Mickey, though I congratulate him for walking off the show this week after finding out that Ashley is into guys like Bentley, showing that even though he's on The Bachelorette, he does, in fact, have some level of self-awareness and a fully operating set of balls. But, I digress.
Without therapy, Ashley, along with every other person in this world including the anti-Bachelorette-watching public, will continue to look for love as a response to the way they themselves were loved -- or not loved -- in the past, often by family. That's just the way it works.
Though she mentions other qualities she's looking for in a man, it's clear that Ashley's main goal is to find someone who won't leave her. That's it. I want to jump through the TV and hug this poor sweet self-loathing girl who needs support so desperately. Sometimes, like a frat boy watching a football game, I fantasize that she just might be able to hear my screams. Just because someone doesn't reject you, it doesn't therefore mean they accept you! Run Ashley, run!
The slippery slope between not being rejected and fully being accepting can be tricky for a lot of people (including your friend who is dating that asshole) to identify, and Ashley is navigating through it on ABC primetime. I'm sure she's mortified, but she's now also rich, and according to Life & Style Magazine this week, happily engaged - not to Bentley. So as it turns out, Ashley wins. Who knew?