Waity Katie - The Bestest Pending Princess Ever

Waity Katie and some dude in a Z hat.

It's been speculated that on April 29, 2011, between 1 and 2 billion (yes, billion) people will tune in to watch Prince William of Wales marry his longtime girlfriend, Kate Middleton. Hello wedding of the century. No pressure.

Kate-Middleton.jpgThough the actual day will likely fly by much faster than any bride or groom wants it to, this romance has been anything but a quickie. For eight years Will and Kate have been building their relationship, but by year four, much to Kate Middleton's dismay, the press gave the future Mrs. the nickname, "Waity-Katie." As if she was some sort of co-dependent pushover, this name came as a sly criticism of Kate, evaluating her for supposedly waiting, waiting, and waiting some more for Prince Will to pop the question.  Because of course, marriage is obviously the most important objective for any proper girl. Right.

Despite my personal fantasy that this modern couple's courtship would rub off on some of the stick-up-the-ass ideas about marriage that still make a mess of the world (I'm happily married and I shave my armpits, so everyone calm down), the nickname stuck. And here's why I'm not a fan of the nickname...

The nickname says: Dear Kate, Marriage is the final destination, or at least it should be. Get it together and demand that you become a wife, it's what we're all waiting for. What the hell are you two doing just hanging out and being in love. Hurry it up. You're not getting any younger.

Lovely. How very progressive.

MarriageJourney.jpgThough I hate to disappoint, marriage is actually not the final destination. It's part of the journey for some, not for others. But either way, the decision to go for it, or your version of it, deserves some major thought. Marriage can be amazing, fabulous, sexy and emotionally supportive -- and oh-my-god I would walk down the aisle to my husband a million times over -- but, it's also an enormous life changing commitment. And if you think being a frickin' Prince, let alone dating one makes the decision any easier, well, you've officially gone mad. But hey, that's just me.

I love the negative connotation describing the oh-so awful woman who has worked and taken time to build a respectable relationship, becoming engaged when both people in said relationship were good and ready. Tsk tsk, Kate, tsk tsk.

This patient and realistic course of action is obviously a horrible idea compared to the fabulously emotionally intelligent way we roll in the United States. Queue ABC's hit show, The Bachelor. This is gonna be fun...

Find a guy with a six-pack and a baggage-load of commitment issues, give him 25 gorgeous and sadly-insecure girls to choose from, preferably with bodies that belong to less than 1% of the population, supply him with endless funds and put him on TV, hopefully reminding all who tune-in that unless horseback-riding is part of a first date, you clearly don't know what real love is. This will then result in viewers' further willingness to give up a minimum of two hours per week to watch how it's really done, cheers to high ratings and teaching our children what courtship is all about...and go!! Ah yes, the road to engagement as it was meant to happen.

I much prefer the "Waity-Katie" trend given the choice, thankyouverymuch.

divorce cake.jpgSadly, with the divorce rate as high as it is (4.95/1,000 people are divorced in the US and 3.08/1,000 people in the UK), it seems that we can no longer assume that love and marriage go hand in hand. Though the hope is that they co-habitate, in modern relationships they are often two separate stories. Maybe it's love that the future princess wanted, and got...and marriage is more what we all wanted for her. But why?  Why did we want her to be engaged so badly?

Well, because it's only human. We love (or love to hate, or hate to love) watching other people do the things that we either can't seem to get right, figure out or are too afraid to do ourselves. We love talking the talk rather than walking the walk... or rather, talking about the walk it seems. We're fascinated, inspired, motivated... and can't get enough. So, we wanted her to hurry up and put a ring on it. Makes total sense, right? Right.

But regardless of my opinions about the ridiculousness of the whole "Waity-Katie" thing, I really want to say, thanks Kate. Thanks for getting engaged. Seriously. Because clearly our own lives weren't really doin' it for us anymore - we could hardly wait any longer to live vicariously through you. You're the bestest pending-Princess (or Dutchess, or Queen...who knows) ever.

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