The Movie Spew: Bradley Cooper Flees From The Crow

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Bradley Cooper Will no Longer Explore His Goth Side In The Crow

Anyone out there looking forward to watching Bradley Cooper vamping his way through a remake of The Crow can claim a broken heart today. Cooper has officially dropped out of the project, claiming there are too many scheduling conflicts.

That’s believable given that Cooper has David O Russell’s Silver Linings to shoot this fall followed swiftly by his planned Satanic turn in Paradise Lost. Of course, given that the remake never seemed like a great idea in the first place, “scheduling conflicts” could be a subtle code for “the script is horseshit.”

At the moment the replacement actors being considered are Mark Walhberg (a decision that would ensure extra shirtlessness and love passed along to everybody’s mothers) and Channing Tatum (a choice that would rule out any “acting” making its way into the movie). With or without Cooper, The Crow will get made. It is based on a comic book after all, and that seems to be all it takes to get a green light these days.

Kevin Smith’s Hit Somebody Will Now Be Two Movies 

Clerks director, compulsive podcaster, and good ol’ nice guy Kevin Smith is planning on retiring from movies after he finishes up his current Red State tour and completes his planned hockey opus Hit Somebody.

It’s a bit of a bummer for the director’s passionate fanbase, but during a recent appearance in Montreal, Smith dropped a little news that should ease the pain ever so slightly. Apparently he’s having such a good time writing his final screenplay that the man is planning on turning the project into not just one, but two films.

The movies will follow a hockey star from his backyard family games to the NHL with the split between the two movies coming at the start of his pro career. When asked why he didn’t simply turn Hit Somebody into a trilogy, Smith replied, “Everybody does trilogies. I’d rather end with a less predictable closer. Predictable would be Clerks III, but a two-part hockey epic that’s largely about Canada, featuring an all-star cast? That’ll have some scratching their heads and others saying ‘It’s kinda perfect.’”

Whether or not the gamble will pay off remains to be seen, but given that Smith plans to finance and release the movies himself, the guy can definitely do whatever he wants.

A Good Old Fashioned Orgy Trailer

Finally, what better way could there be to round up the day with the first R-rated trailer for A Good Old Fashioned Orgy. First off, if you’re you have loved ones near by, don’t worry. It’s not actually an ad for a genuine orgy.

It’s just the title for a long delayed indie comedy starring the likes of Jason Sudeikis, Will Forte, Lindsay Stone, Lucy Punch, and Martin Starr. The trailer looks delightfully raunchy in a nostalgic R-rated '80s comedy way and the cast of comedy actors is definitely impressive.

The only possible concern is how long the movie has been on the shelf. Hopefully that’s because the movie is so out there that distributors didn’t know what to do with it, but sadly there’s probably a better chance that the film just doesn’t quite work. We’ll get to find out soon enough. The all star comedy cast gets down and dirty this September, which is frighteningly close.

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Phil Brown was born years ago. He then grew up, went to university, and now reviews movies, interviews people and writes comedy. He writes for a number of websites and publications including the one you are currently reading. Phil can be found haunting movie theatres around Toronto. He isn't dangerous,…

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