Angelina Jolie: "No Make-Up" My Ass

Women's Wear Daily released a photo this week of the gorgeous Angelina Jolie posing in an ad for the Louis Vuitton "Core Values" campaign. The photo, taken by infamous photographer Annie Leibovitz, is beautiful - though Vuitton quickly uglied it up by releasing this short, absurd turn-off of a statement: Jolie posed for the photos in no make-up.

If Angelina is really not wearing any make-up in this picture, I highly recommend you get that girl to a doctor stat because naturally grey smoky eyelids just can't be healthy. Thank you, Louis Vuitton, for encouraging the pretend-to-be-something-you're-not campaign, we're so appreciative of your support. No make-up my ass.

Why say she's not wearing make-up when she so clearly is? The attraction to such BS is beyond me. It's similar to someone ruining a perfectly good boob job by claiming they're real. Baby, please, no one is walking away jealous of your "natural" boobs that sit on your neck, we're just gossiping about how sad it is that you're a delusional liar. Just be honest, we might even ask to touch them.

Pietro Beccari, Vuitton's executive vice president said "People are not used to seeing Angelina in this situation ... I like the fact that it's a real moment." I'm sorry Pietro darling, but there is nothing real about Angelina Jolie sitting in a boat in Cambodia at dusk holding a Louis Vuitton bag while wearing make-up but pretending not to be wearing make-up. Nothing could be less relatable, in fact.

I guess that's just what we do now, though; we pretend with the hope of not only convincing others, but convincing ourselves, that what we say is real. Not just about our physical appearance, though; we do it with our emotional presentation as well. When all signs point to "not okay emotionally," we deny through and through. I'm fine, I'm good, things are great. Smile smile-kiss kiss. Please.

We want to appear and feel natural, calm, cool and collected. We want people to think we're strong, beautiful, worry- and stress-free. Well I have news for you: natural-calm-cool-collected-strong-beautiful-worry-and-stress-free comes at a price. That price? Proudly wearing a little g-damn eye shadow and growing a pair big enough to admit that you're made of blood and guts and feelings. When things are good, celebrate. When things aren't so good, get with the program and get real.

No one cares if you're wearing a little make-up, no one cares if you're having a bad day, a bad week, or even a bad year - you're allowed. When you lie in attempts to appear more natural or happier than you really are, all you're doing is drawing attention to how not natural and how not happy you might just be.

So don't pull a "Louis" - be yourself, because anything less just uglies things up.

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