Last night on The Bachelorette the ridiculousness bar was raised from a few weeks ago when Ashley decided to have the guys "roast" her because she apparently confused her ego for being strong and her self-esteem for being solid.
This week she asked the guys, who are emotionally fighting over her, to put on boxing gloves and physically fight in a Thai boxing match to win her attention. Personal injury attorneys in Hollywood are now busier than ever, and anger management experts are high on life with more to talk about since last weeks episode of Housewives. Thank you "reality" TV. Yer-the-best.
Just in case you're unwilling to spend two hours of your precious time watching this crap, here's a further breakdown of the episode so you can keep up with Facebook and Twitter today - you're welcome. Ames went to the hospital after being punched in the side of the head by nice-guy Ryan, who is actually an angry animal who hides his aggression by being sunshiny all the time - shocker.
William proved once again that immature boys who tattletale and say things like "I'm a little boy" are actually not what women really want. Bummer deal for him. Ben and Ashley had a mental make-out session, as in they visualized kissing each other in their heads because they couldn't kiss near the sacred temple they were sitting by.
Evidently, they weren't able to access their creative thinking; getting up off their asses and walking a few steps away to have a real make-out session. Jaw-dropping entertainment, or as my dad, who chose an unfortunate night to hang out with me, said, "This show is absolutely horrible."
Lastly, but certainly my favorite, story line, Ashley remained stuck on Bentley, or, as I like to call it: Ashley still "loves" the guy who, if she could get him to love her back, could possibly fulfill the emptiness inside her caused by growing up thinking her father doesn't love or want her. Essentially this hole can only be filled by either years of intensive therapy, or, a guy who doesn't love or want her. Cheers to the best Psychology 101 case study ever, tune in next week for multiple real life examples on how to best sabotage yourself, and a few easy tricks to show the world what a piece of sh*t you really think you are.
This season of The Bachelorette has it all. Issues of self-worth at their finest, clear results of a neglectful father, Peter Pan syndrome, co-dependence, narcissism, anger, jealousy, and even mask wearing - though the latter, sadly, only lasted two weeks. My psychological heaven can now be found on ABC every Monday night at 8pm. My dad's right, it's an absolutely and outrageously horrible show... but I literally can't stop watching.