Kiss And Don't Tell: God Bless Twitter, Clarence Clemons, and the Power of Clean

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God bless Twitter. It gives celebrities the opportunity to immediately correct erroneous information. For example, Green Day's Bille Joe Armstrong just chimed in about reports that he had signed on for Tom Hanks' production of American Idiot: "Haven't totally committed to St Jimmy for AI movie. Yes, I'm interested. Yes someone jumped the gun."

Fans across the globe are still on pins and needles about Clarence Clemons' condtion after he suffered a stroke last Sunday. According to the preeminent Springsteen fan site, Backstreets, Clemons' vital signs are continuing to improve, although he's still being assisted by machines. Quoting a "close friend," Backstreets says his vital signs "are improving" and that he's responsive.

"His eyes are welling up when we're talking to him," the source told Backstreets. "He was paralyzed on his left side, but now he's squeezing with his left hand. This is the best news we've heard since [the stroke] happened - it's nothing short of miraculous. The next five days will still be critical. But he's a fighter." His wife Victoria has been at the hospital since the stroke along with various other family and close friends

Don't try to call Rob Zombie a dirty rock star anymore. The White Zombie founder was hired to direct his first ever TV commercial this past spring for Woolite detergent. "It's a very bizarre TV commercial for a product like this," said Zombie. "Honestly, I was shocked when they called me to do it."

But just in case you're worried that Zombie will disappear into the world of high commerce, let us allay your fears. He begins his next tour on July 14, with new drummer Ginger Fish - who you remember as Marilyn Manson's skin beater - and no that's not supposed to be dirty - joining guitarist John 5 and bassist Piggy D. The North American summer dates include the "Hell on Earth" co-headline trek with Slayer. Immediately following, Zombie will return to his other persona and begin production on his sixth feature film, The Lords of Salem, which he wrote and will direct.

Speaking of musicians on the small screen, Patti Smith has a role on Law & Order: Criminal Intent this Sunday. "I've never really acted, but I highly respect the craft," she told TV Guide about her upcoming role. "I knew that it wasn't going to be simple, but it was a little more daunting than I expected."

The episode, dubbed "Icarus," is one of the "ripped from the headlines" story lines, inspired by the barrage of misshaps around Broadway's Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark." Airing at 9/8C on USA Network, Detectives Goren (Vincent D'Onofrio) and Eames (Kathryn Erbe) poke around a Broadway musical after an actor dies while performing a stunt, inspiring Detective Goren to call upon an old friend, Columbia University mythology professor Cleo Alexander (played by Smith) to help decipher the meaning behind the word "Icarus," leading to the resolution of the case.

It was D'Onofrio's idea to hire Smith; he's a fan of the punk poetess, and has helped her get ready for her role. "He's been taught by the greatest, and he taught me, so I feel like if I had to do it again, I'd be really good," she says. "He's such a great actor, such a great director and becoming such a good friend."

While the memory of glow sticks and outhouses are still fresh in your mind, you should head over to Bonnaroo's website to buy tickets for next year's extravaganza. 'Roo organizers have put up a limited number of general admission tickets at the special price of $209.50 plus service fees. The tickets will be available through July 1 or while supplies last. There is a ten-ticket limit per purchase.

Also for sale are VIP tickets during the pre-sale. Priced at the princely sum of $1,349.50 plus service fees, each package includes two VIP tickets, exclusive entry, preferred parking and camping, a pre-event dinner and party, exclusive viewing areas, two T-shirts and posters, and access to special shower and restroom facilities. That is worth the entire price. As for the artist lineup? Does it really matter?

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Jaan Uhelszki was one of the founding editors at Detroit’s legendary Creem magazine. Since that time, her work has appeared in USA Today, Uncut, Rolling Stone, Spin, NME, Relix, and Guitar World. She is the only journalist to have ever performed in full makeup with Kiss. Luckily she only had to put…

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