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There aren't many celebrity news items that bring a joyous smile to my face, but here's one of them. Adrianne Curry is single! Yes, the smoking hot winner of the first season of America's Next Top Model has finally left Peter Brady and is apparently ready to get her party back on.
Public Enemy's Flavor Flav was perhaps the most notorious example of a seeming has-been whose career was rejuvenated by the incredibly idiotic reality vehicle known as The Surreal Life. Christopher Knight's career didn't get the same boost that Flav's did, but it was hard to watch television six years ago and not envy the hell out of the former Brady Bunch cast member.
It was 2005; nobody had thought of Christopher Knight in at least two decades. To his credit, the 47-year-old had aged really well, and for some reason his Surreal cast mate, the 22-year-old Adrianne Curry became convinced that she was madly in love with him. I've been known to miss subtle signals from women in my time, but Adrianne's insane pursuit of her own Brady would have had Helen Keller telling the young model that she might want to work a little on playing hard to get.
Instead it was Knight, who spent the better part of a season
of reality television battling his will power and better judgment. Knight
rebuffed Curry's advances for about as long as any sane male with a sex drive
could have managed. He was 25 years older than her, she was immature, she was
clearly out of her mind, but then again she was sexy as hell. Again, she was
clearly insane, but in what appeared to be a really fun, bisexual kind of way.
Bill Clinton would have succumbed to Curry in about 30 seconds. Knight did his
best to tell his libido "no," but word came out during the end of season recap
that he had finally succumbed.
This was followed by My Fair Brady and a marriage on May 29, 2006 (five years to the day of their separation announcement). Reality shows are, of course, one of the leading causes of divorce in the United States, but given the volatility between Knight and Curry it has to be viewed as some kind of heroic miracle that their marriage lasted the five years that it did.
Curry was recently a guest on The Howard Stern Show, and spent the better part of an hour explaining how she rarely had sex with Knight, despite the fact that she craved it and liked to role play when she wasn't roaming around their home completely naked. Look, I understand, Chris Knight is 53 years old now and God knows the old boy is probably exhausted both sexually and emotionally. This was clearly a relationship where Knight had no idea from day to day whether to sleep with his wife or to ground her without supper. The couple met when Curry was 22 and from all apparent evidence it wasn't an extremely mature 22. These two were either headed to divorce court or Christopher Knight was due for a massive coronary or stroke.
Now, as much as I rooted for this relationship to succeed, Adrianne Curry is just way too fun to be sitting around the house playing naked World of Warcraft. Curry by all accounts seems to have been faithful to Knight, which means the guy who played Bobby Brady (much more age appropriate), or whoever else falls prey to her next infatuation, is quite possibly the luckiest man alive. Just please, please don't let it be either Mel Gibson or Arnold Schwarzenegger!
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