"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife." Well, Jane Austen, it would seem that the silver fox of Hollywood, George Clooney, is out to prove you wrong.
Clooney and his Italian girlfriend, Elisabetta Canalis, split last week, just days after she told an Italian magazine that she wanted marriage and children. The self confessed 'perma-bachelor' clearly meant what he said to Piers Morgan on CNN in January, "I wouldn't have the patience and dedication you need to take care of a family." Poor Canalis ran head on into the stony wall of relationship suicide and set off all the alarm bells in that devilishly handsome head.
What are we ladies meant to do with the news that one of the World's Sexiest Men is now back on the market? Perhaps spend 0.3 seconds feeling sorry for Canalis? How about wasting 3 whole seconds daydreaming about being her replacement? She got two years with him and surely she should have taken some cues from the Morgan interview. No, thrice, no! The most fruitful way to spend our time is to plug the ears and cover the eyes of our own 'nearest and dearest.' Do not, I repeat, do not let him get clued up on George's 'Grand Single Plan.' The fact is, between you and I, it may well be a very cunningly smart plan indeed..
Let's face it: marriage is not always a bed of roses. Men go from being seduced by perky, miraculously hairless
nymphs to walking into the bathroom facing what looks like their mother being
attacked by Hitler's paper moustache. Women go from spending hours absorbing
every detail of the manly hand that cradles their own, to refusing to touch it
until it's been washed after being caught 'red-fingered' up its owner's nose. Marriage is icky, messy, damn hard
work. Why would a rich,
self-confident, strumpet magnet like Clooney bother to get his hands dirty? Or clean for that matter!
As much as I am as happy as a pig rolling around in my gloriously muddy marriage, I admire George for not bowing to social pressure. In this era of ever increasingly blurred edges between the roles of the two sexes, a healthy by-product should be men who say "Thanks, but no thanks" to the old ball and chain.
What happens, however, if you want to be the heavy ball at the end of a marital chain? How do you stop your partner from following in the footsteps of Mr. Clooney and imagining a James Bond worthy single life? Well, it is easy. Keep your waxing strips behind locked doors; refrain from picking your nose; and find someone who makes you feel like you can't bear the thought of them wandering the earth for a single second longer without you. In other words, do something that Gorgeous George has clearly not yet managed to do: fall in love.