Kate Middleton Bullied At Downe House? What a Load of Poo!

By , Contributor

Kate Middleton's pal Emma Sayle calls foul on Downe House bullying story.

The media is having a field day with claims that princess-to-be Kate Middleton was bullied while a student at Downe House school. The harshest element of this alleged bullying involves poo being placed in her bed. These claims have come from a highly unreliable source who claims to be great friends with Kate; a claim that -- I have on good authority from various members of the inner circle of royal trust -- has about as much truth in it as poo in a "day girl's" bed.

Am I missing something or has every other intelligent person out there realized that you cannot put poo in a day girl's bed at a boarding school? Still don't get it? The clue is in the word "day".  Day girls do not have beds at school. So how then was it possible for Kate to have poo put in her bed at school?

This "source" has been so over-exposed in national and international media -- particularly since the royal engagement -- that she now rivals British tabloid regulars Jordan and Kerry Katona. That's not a compliment.  First off, said source was never at Downe House, and so as far as I am concerned that makes her an unreliable witness. Secondly, this source is not even friends with the royal couple, so how could she possibly comment reliably on anything to do with William and Kate?

Welcome to the UK media.

400px-ONBDOWNhouse.jpgAs a Downe House girl, I would like to think I know something about the Downe mentality. I was four years ahead of Kate at school, and to be fair, I have no recollection of her. I certainly acknowledge I am in no position to say whether or not she was or was not bullied. I do know however, that Downe is very much a boarding school. There are very few "day" girls there, and a big part of school life was the evening activities and social life within your boarding house. This was the time when you made friends and bonded with your peers. It was also the time when pranks were performed on your friends and the younger years.

The ironic thing about the Kate/poo story is that we did put poo in a bed once. Yes, that's pretty gross, but it was done to a friend who had stitched me up the night before, so I booby trapped the dorm whilst she was out.

It was a genius set up! When she came back in after lights out, the bin balancing on top of the door (full of pot noodles) fell on her head, then whilst stumbling forward, her foot got caught in coat hangers sticking up from the floor boards, causing her to trip over a tuck box before landing on her bed where the poo awaited.  As I said: a genius set up. Don't feel too bad for her, though: she then put fish in all my drawers and cling-filmed the loo seats. This was followed up with me bike-chaining her to the language block drainpipe the next day.

You see, it was an ongoing battle, but it was certainly not "bullying." This sort of silliness went on all over the school in every grade. We boarding house girls saw it as character forming and bonding, but never nasty.  Except maybe the poo, that's pretty nasty.

I'm not saying it is right to put poo in people's bed, and I'm not saying Kate wasn't bullied. It is possible Kate experienced bullying. Downe is a fighting school, a school for overachievers. You have to pass a vigorous assessment before you are even offered a place, and that is before you must achieve a certain level in your common entrance exams.

Truthfully, any girl who actually makes it into Downe has already fought to be there. I loved it there - I'm a fighter. My final report from one teacher read, "I have found Emma to be cheeky, over-excitable, opinionated, and thoroughly obnoxious - she'll go far". But even as a head of house, prefect, squash captain with A grades, the pressure was huge.

There were loads of times I felt isolated. I was not one of the "London Trendies", as we called them, with their sprawling country estates and large pads off the Kings road in London. These were girls who went out with boys from Radley and Eton, who I now I might add, are mainly overweight, their looks gone, underachievers who are still sponging off mummy and daddy's money.  A fact which sadistically amuses me.

Kate was a day girl and day girls didn't fit in. In fact, she joined the school in the upper fours when most of the girls had been there for two years already. I know that in my year, these late starters struggled to fit in too. And Kate is not an opinionated fighter.  Since there has been no official statement from Kate, we must chalk all this "poo" business up to hearsay from a highly unreliable source.

Knowing Downe culture as an insider, I do know that the main parts of the bullying story do not add up. There was no poo in her bed and she was not bullied for being too perfect, as claimed. How do I know that? Because the girls considered perfect were never bullied, but rather idolized. They were the ones ruling the roost. I ruled that roost and it certainly looks like Kate is on track to ruling one of the biggest roosts in the world.

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Emma Sayle is one of the UK’s leading ‘sex-entrepreneurs’ and was voted 71 in Time Outs top movers & shakers, topping Madonna’s 74th position! Sayle has made her name launching the elitist high end adult party brand Killing Kittens. Emma has become a tabloid darling for her provocative endeavors…

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