Pippa's Possibly, Preposterously Phony Fanny

Sucks to be the butt of a joke... especially as bad as the one I just made.

By , Columnist

I recently did a piece about how to give your style a Pippa-lift, and one of the factors I mentioned improving was your behind. After all, everyone seems to LOVE Pippa’s grand glutes.

pippa butt 1.jpgBut now, there’s speculation that the bum admired round the world might be fake. What? I mean seriously, what?

People are now theorizing that, for her big wedding debut, Pippa popped a little extra something on under the dress to give her behind a boost:

“I’m not convinced that it’s completely natural,” says London spa owner Lesley Reynolds Kahn. “Because I think, if you look at other photos of her and you see her in jeans, she’s got quite a flat bottom. But I think possibly for the day, for that gorgeous dress, she may have had some sort of pants that gave her a little bit of a lift, or even a little bit of padding.”

How ass-inine. First the world admired Pippa’s tush. Then the world wanted Pippa’s tush (just ask the cadre of plastic surgeons being asked to reproduce it!). Now, the world appears to want Pippa’s tush on a platter!

pippabikini.jpgNot that anyone should care, but since people seem to, does anyone honestly think that material as unforgiving as the satin chosen for her famous Alexander McQueen MOH dress would hide some sort of faux fanny? The fact that you can prominently see Pippa’s hipbones in front - and even her navel - says quite clearly that not only is she Kate Moss skinny, but she’d probably be hard-pressed to wear a thong under that dress without seeing the indentations in her hips, much less a booty pad of some sort.

Also, check out some of her bathing beauty pictures onboard a yacht with her big sister - I think a fake butt would be hard to smuggle under a bikini bottom, don’t you?

So, folks, now that that’s cleared up, let’s chill out and get back to the time-honored tradition of judging the fakeness of celebrity faces and leave the booties for the judges that really know what they’re talking about… chairs.

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Emmie Scott is an English major-turned-marketing exec, with a passion for writing, humor, sharing knowledge, and "pink drinks." After hours, she started Are Toe Rings Professional Attire?, a blog for college grads and twenty-somethings looking to find their way through that daunting labyrinth called…

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