The Movie Spew: Top Gun Director to Remake The Wild Bunch, Film Buffs to Cry Out of Sorrow

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Tony Scott to Direct That Glossy Remake of The Wild Bunch That Nobody Wants

Yesterday Ridley Scott sent the Internet abuzz with news that he would be returning to the world of Blade Runner. Not to be outdone, his brother Tony decided to reveal today that he has plans to revive a classic film as well. However, given that no one needs an update of his movies like Top Gun or Days Of Thunder, the lesser and glossier Scott brother is going to pillage someone else’s work instead.

The master of seizure-inducing editing has set his sights on remaking Sam Peckinpah’s 1969 Western classic The Wild Bunch. Scott has no plans of what to do with the project just yet, but expect more action, younger stars, and a total lack of any of the intelligent commentary on Western conventions that inspired the original. In other words, this will more than likely be a remake of Young Guns called The Wild Bunch.

Tony Scott is an incredible visual stylist and capable of making interesting movies when he has a decent script (True Romance, anyone?), but this is just sacrilege. The Wild Bunch is a film from a very specific time and place and should be left alone. The good news is that Disney recently shut down their planned Lone Ranger movie with Johnny Depp because they don’t think that the Western is a viable genre after the soft box office reception for Cowboys And Aliens. With any luck, that kind of thinking will kill off this remake as well. Let’s all agree to respect the legacy of an alcoholic, misogynist, cinematic genius, shall we?

The Master of Ripping Off the Master of Suspense to Direct The Key Man

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These days it’s always exciting to hear that Brian De Palma has a new movie on the way because…well, he sadly doesn’t get to make that many films any more. The master craftsman behind Carrie and The Untouchables only made three movies in the 2000s and that’s just not enough for a filmmaker of his talent and stature.

Fortunately De Palma has finally announced plans for a new movie today. The film in question is called The Key Man and will apparently be a throwback paranoid '70s thriller along the lines of Marathon Man. It will be about a single father who suddenly finds himself being pursued by government agents because his body contains the mysterious answers to some sort of national secret.

The thriller sounds like it should be filled with the kind of elaborate suspense set pieces that De Palma does so damn well and could be ideally suited for his directorial skills. Let’s not forget that De Palma’s best film to date is arguably Blow Out, which was a ludicrously entertaining paranoid political thriller. If The Key Man is even half as good as Blow Out it could be a much needed return to form to De Palma.

Let’s pray, people. The world needs more movies by filmmakers like Brian De Palma who create thrilling works of mass entertainment that don’t insult the audience’s intelligence. It might sound like a simple formula for cinematic success, but it’s done oh-so-rarely these days.

The Trailer for Ghost Rider 2 Actually Looks Like It Won’t Suck

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In theory I should be pissed off by the fact that Ghost Rider 2 is being made. After all, the original was a terrible movie that not only featured one of Nicolas Cage’s worst hairpieces, but also ruined the potential of a fantastic comic book anti-hero. Well, the thing is that it looks like all will be set right with Ghost Rider 2 thanks to the producers putting a perfect directing team in charge of the project.

Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor signed on for Ghost Rider 2 after previously giving the action genre a much needed kick in the ass with their Crank movies. The Crank series elevated action clichés to hysterical levels of cartoony excess that almost felt like the action movie equivalent of the Evil Dead movies. Those movies simply must be seen to be believed and that level of exaggerated carnage should be perfectly suited to the world of Ghost Rider.

Nicolas Cage will once again play the lead and if Neveldine/Taylor can get him to bring the over-the-top absurdity from his work in Bad Lieutenant to their batshit insane action style, this could be something of a trash classic. For proof look no further than the first official trailer that hit the Internet today and features Ghost Rider pissing a stream of fire. Now, that’s what I’m talking about!

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Phil Brown was born years ago. He then grew up, went to university, and now reviews movies, interviews people and writes comedy. He writes for a number of websites and publications including the one you are currently reading. Phil can be found haunting movie theatres around Toronto. He isn't dangerous,…

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