An Always Mad Nancy Grace and Other Observations on Dancing With the Stars' Celeb Performers

By , Contributor

In last week’s Dancing With the Stars’ write-up, I reported dutifully that the war hero danced fluidly while the athlete jumped and thumped instead of anything remotely related to dancing.

Another week goes by and as familiarity might breed contempt it can also breed, eh, familiarity. Thus we now begin to take a closer look at the contenders on DWTS and note personality quirks and other gossipy items beyond the art of their dance. Oh yes, we deal with the dance, indeed, but as we watch their feet struggle to move as if there is a plan and we remember the pre-dance practice camera vignettes meant to give us peeks into the personalities and struggles of the contenders, sudden insights rain down upon our marble head. For example, WHERE IS CHER?

Just throwing it out there. For here is Chaz, Cher’s eldest child and only daughter, having undergone a sex change, for goodness sake, and the turmoil this must bring, now struggling to learn the dance with a bum knee, and his mother’s been nowhere in sight! I suppose Cher might have plans to be on at a later time but I’m not sure Chaz is going to last that much longer in this competition.

dwts-scorecard.jpg

This is the grid I use to track the evening’s and the cumulative scores of the contenders. It’s sorted from the highest cumulative score to the lowest as of the most recent episode of DWTS.

J.R. Martinez, injured Iraqi war hero, was obviously a talented dancer right from the start. He has it all, in fact, even his scarred face has the handsomeness of a hero’s tragedy and survival. With the damage to J.R.’s face, his body evidently suffered no damage as this man is fluid, limber, and physically fit for the dance challenge and handily so.

dwts-jrmartinez.jpg

Many of the celebrity contenders agree to go on DWTS for the exposure it brings to a faded celebrity or aging athlete. Most times the exposure pays off as we see Marie Osmond selling diet goods and former celeb dancers busy hosting their own competitive reality shows. I’ve no doubt that after his stint on DWTS that J.R. will go on to a great fame as either a politician or pundit of great renown. For now it looks like Martinez might go straight on to win that mirrored ball or end up high enough to make that scarred visage forever a face of instant recognition.

J.R. danced a Viennese waltz the first week and this past episode he danced a rollicking jive. These are two dances of very different technique and with each Martinez displayed an astounding agility and beauty.

dwts-rickilake.jpg

Ricki Lake looks like she’ll do well in this competition, a surprise to me. Ricki also danced a waltz and a jive for her first two performances. She increased her score by a full three points from her first to her second dance and she had the highest score of this past performance night. Ricki says she’s lost 12 inches of flab since she began this series. I think she looks great.

dwts-davidarquette.jpg

I like David Arquette and think he will be the contender who makes the most improvement this season. His scores do not yet impress but he has that limberness of limb one sees in a natural dancer. Just a hunch.

In other news I note that my husband complains that Nancy Grace is always mad. Thus I smiled that the practice on-camera vignette had Nancy fuming and refusing to finish a practice session. I also thought it peculiar that last week Nancy was not in the bottom three score-wise but didn’t fare well with American voters. It is always about the dance, of course, but a smile and pleasant disposition can’t hurt.

Elisabetta Canalis showed a great improvement this past episode, boosting her judges' scores a full six points for her quickstep over last week’s waltz. I don’t see Canalis winning this thing and reading between the lines it seems that there’s dark clouds in the relationship between Elisabetta and her partner Val. If nothing else, Canalis definitely had the bounciest boobs of the lot.

Rob Kardashian was perceived to have greatly improved this past episode but by me he hardly moved during his jive. Carrie Ann announced that Rob was now officially a better dancer than his sister Kim, a gross overstatement.

Below a video compilation of all the performances.

Elisabetta Canalis was sent home on the elimination show for this week's performances. David Arquette and Chaz Bono were in the bottom three. I stand by my assertion that Arquette is going to do better than expected and still hope Cher makes an appearance before Chaz is booted off.

Dancing With the Stars performance show airs on ABC Monday nights 8p/7c, with the elimination show the following night, 9p/8c.

If you've got an insight to share, email me: pat.fish@themortonreport.com.

Check in every day for new columns and updates.


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Pat Fish has been a blogger for almost ten years. She has been published numerous times in the Chicken Soup for the Soul and Cup of Comfort book series and wrote for Blogcritics. She has written a few books and vows to write till death does part her from the keyboard. Pat loves to write about current…

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