Last night's episode of The Bachelor Pad began oddly. Some might say it went downhill from there.
It was called “The Nearlywed Game” and it was, of course, a take-off on that earlier show, The Newlywed Game.
For reasons not explained, the remaining contenders in the Pad all joined up with a partner of the opposite sex and the rest of the competition will be based on competing teams of couples. Perhaps this eventuality was made known before the contenders signed on. Whatever the case, it surprised me.
Not all of the teams were necessarily lovers. Blake and Erica, both of whom got booted out of the Pad later that night, were a couple team. Erica did her best but she could not get Blake to engage her in bodily pleasures as was her wont during their hard-won private date. Illustrative, as I argue, of this couple team’s non-romantic involvement.
Kasey and Vienna are a couple team, of course. Anybody within earshot of either The Bachelor or The Bachelor Pad knows the Vienna story, first with Jake, now Kasey.
Michael and Holly are a team, goodness knows why. These two have been gooey, weepy, vacillating, and directionless for the entirety of this BP series. They’d evidently once were engaged and broke up. Nobody knows why but they both cry and mope and in general depress everyone around them.
Ella and Kirk are a team. I don’t think these two are any sort of romantic couple though after telling us for the 900,000,000th time that she has a son and she needs the money from the win.
Graham and Michelle do seem have a romantic connection and they are also a team. This is an interesting development and should keep viewers interested.
The questions were, at the least, R-rated. How many people has your partner had sex with before? How old was your partner when he lost his virginity? Of the two of you, who is the better lover? This all airing at 8pm when little ears likely listen. Which is not to condemn the show as I understand that the titillating questions keep viewers watching. I begin to wonder just when it became perfectly okay to tell all our sex secrets to the world.
At any rate, Graham and Michelle rigged their answers to the Nearlywed Game and they won. Blake and Erica came in second. Each couple won a private date away from the Pad.
Erica had it in her head that she was going to seduce Blake on their date but he refused. A surprise to me, who’s been complaining about the loud sex talk, to have a fellow turn down a willing female. Erica and Blake were also given a rose that they could not use to make themselves safe from elimination but they could bestow the rose on a couple of their choice to save that couple from elimination.
The plan was to give the rose to a couple who would agree to save them - Erica and Blake - from being booted from the Pad. Well yeah, you can promise all kinds of stuff once the reward is yours. But it is all that Blake and Erica could do, this is fine. Guess which couple they gave the saving rose to? Kasey and Vienna!
I must ask again, why?
Blake, by is own words, is smitten with Holly. Holly is teamed with her former or current lover, Michael, true, but Blake did have a one-on-one date with Holly and they kissed. There was a connection there. Why didn’t Erica and Blake save Holly and Michael, maybe Holly would end up the winner? Well okay, maybe Erica, now rejected by Blake for his sexual favors, didn’t want to bestow safety to the other woman in the Pad who’d caught Blake’s heart. Still.
Kasey and Vienna?
I’m sorry folks, I can think of no good reason why Blake and Erica would bestow safety on Kasey and Vienna EXCEPT, dare I say it, if it was scripted.
Kasey and Vienna are drawing in the viewers. Maybe a producer whispers into Blake and Erica’s ears?
Whatever the case, the de facto result is we will continue to be blessed with the troubling presence of Vienna and Kasey. Vienna, as an aside, has been refusing to engage in sex with Kasey while in the Pad. Again, this is known because we can now, with no scold, tell the entire world who we do, when we do it, where we do it or not.
Blake and Erica got voted out of the Pad, this after giving Kasey and Vienna the safety rose! I’m thinking if Erica and Blake thought Kasey and Vienna would go campaigning to keep them safe, why would they?
Below an outtake from The Bachelor Pad. Watch at your own risk.
The next Bachelor has been announced.
The next season of The Bachelor will premiere in January 2012. The fellow looking for love will be Ben Flajnik, one of the final two contenders for Bachelorette Ashley Hebert’s hand. Ashley picked J.P. in the end but Ben was very much in love with Ashley.
The Bachelor choice is often one of the final two to four in a Bachelorette series, usually a fellow left with a broken heart and a source of female viewer empathy.
Ben is 28 years old and fits the requirements perfectly.
We’ll be covering his series in this column so tune in.
If you've got an insight to share, email me: firstname.lastname@example.org.
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