Faking It Goes Beyond The Bedroom

Why faking it isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Erin Cooper of Temple University did a recent study to figure out why around 60% of women and 25% of men fake orgasms during sex. She found that, in fact, people are not actually trying to protect the fragile ego of their partner; they're trying to protect themselves.

orgasm060906_228x403.jpgHaving or not having an orgasm, is to our physical relationships what sharing or not sharing our feelings is to our emotional relationships -- the truth makes us vulnerable to judgment, ridicule, and hurt. The truth also makes us vulnerable to true love, true connection and true acceptance. Regardless of the possible advantages to being real, pretending everything is OK when it's really not has become the American way.

From telling people "I'm fine" when you're not, to sporting as many fake body parts as is humanly possible to avoid the possibility that someone won't love you the way you are, faking it is part of our cultural zeitgeist. The work people put into maintaining their mask goes well beyond the work they're willing to do to peel it off, and it's causing a mess.

No wonder sex and all its intricacies is one of the top reasons for divorce. Signing on the dotted line to 'get out' is worth not having to open-up to 'get off.' But what about those people who are somewhere in-between. Not leaving their marriages, but also not getting real about their sexual desires? Or those people who have to save face, put on a show, and hold up an image? Politicians for example? Or maybe...you? Well, let's just say this: the fake always has a way of balancing itself out. So, there's that.

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