Curing a Relationship Hangover

Tomato juice, beer and a raw egg, please!

By , Columnist

I just realized that I have had a relationship hangover for a couple of months now. When someone walks into my life offering up anything that might be an “eye opener” I always say “Yes, please!” as enthusiastically as Jimmy Stewart did when Cary Grant offered up his own special curative elixir in The Philadelphia Story.

After the end of a relationship, there definitely is the element of having drunk too much for the years prior. I imbibed the potion they call love. I ate it up, drank it up, slurped, swallowed, crunched, and sipped the sweet, the sour, and the salty until it became clear that I had developed permanently rose-colored lenses on my eyes.

Loss of any kind can take the energy right out of you. There’s a chemical reaction that happens in my heart and mind when I break up. Habits are hard to break. I was used to calling him when I got off a plane. Going to the farmers' market on Saturdays was one of our rituals. So, when I took him out of the equation, my brain and heart both skipped a beat. How does this work again?

I was alone for years before this last relationship so you’d think I’d kick back into single gear quite rapidly, but I had this chemical reaction going on which left me feeling less energetic, far less excited about life, and definitely in a bit of a mental fog.

So, I’ve been giving all the “remedies” a shot. I’ve tried the spiritual equivalent of a raw egg and a splash of Worcestershire, and downed the vitamin B12 of psychology. One thing that many of the remedies have in common is that they have no context with him. I started working out at a brand new place in a whole new neighborhood. Not only is my body getting better, but it’s mine, all mine. I am also forging new friendships with people who don’t know him. I had plenty of friends before but it’s just mighty refreshing to have people who don’t know about him or the breakup.

I am doing the full court press method: body, mind and spirit, just like I did with my weight loss. That might not sound “lazy” but it actually creates less stress and more joy to throw myself into all the elements of disengaging. Each little eye opener does make a difference, and they all add up to freedom.

I have proof that these hangover remedies are working because today, for the first time since the breakup a few months ago, I actually was excited to go to the farmers' market for the first time. I had a blast. Alone. Awake. Energized. Eyes wide open. Delicious.

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Bridget Fonger is the co-author of “The Lazy Woman’s Guide to Just About Everything,” a book that helps women become happier, more passionate and fulfilled by living the “Lazy Way,” aka with less stress and more joy! Ms. Fonger has been featured on HGTV several times with her home décor and…

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